We're in the Erie room which is a little bit hard to find. It's tucked behind the state rooms on the second level. About 8 minutes until kick-off!
Speakers introduce themselves. "This might be the most controversial topic at BlogHer." Opened it up for audience questions.
Audience member: Why can't we all just get along?
(laughter)
GeekMommy- Well, first let's see a show of hands. How many of you think compensation has a place in blogging? How many of you think that compensation does not have a place in blogging?
Audience member- Amy- You'll find it ironic that I'm a marketer by day and a blogger by night, but I do not feel that there is no place for paid reviews and contests in blogging.
GeekMommy- Everybody has an opinion.
Amy- If you're putting a contest on your blog that is sponsored then you should announce that it's sponsored. Otherwise it's an ad and it's not fair to put it out there like it's your personal opnion.
Audience member - Janice 5minformom- I feel that it's obvious to my readers. It should be common sense. If I'm giving away a product then obviously I didn't go out and buy the product myself. I mean I love my readers but not that much.
(laughter)
(ushering in of late comers)
Haley - lovedbyfamilyandthensome.com - I don't have a large following but I have
had nasty comments over sponsorship. I always tell sponsors that I give my true opnion. I won't bash them but I will reply back and tell them that I cannot reveiw the product. I don't take pay but I take the free items.
GeekMommy- If they did, would you take it?
Haley- I wouldn't give a false opnion, I just wouldn't say anything. But I'm on the line about that because if someone pays me then I'd have to say something nice. But I feel like it wouldn't be true to my readers.
GeekMommy- I want to express my views before we get to far. I am a proponent of paying bloggers. And the reason I believe that it is okay is because I'm asking you to take time away from your families. As far as reviews go, if you only give positive reveiws, then no one has a reason to recruit you. I've written a post on how we don't have a webguide on how to run contests and giveaways. It's one thing to write passionately, but if you're writing on behalf of a company, then it's okay for them to buy your time.
Ann-Marie Nichols (AMN) - Some of the business people are slimy and you feel slimy for considering them. But there are people who review things online and get paid. If you don't think it's worth it then don't do it.
GeekMommy- to audience -Please don't feel like you can't exress your opnion.
Audience member - I've been blogging for 3 years, and I've never been offered a review. And the rest of the infertility group probably feels the same, because you know we don't have any money. But the thing I've been noticed is that in the news business, they don't follow any ethical guidelines. So why is the FTC going after us?
AMN- Because we're women and we're moms so we must be idiots.
AMN- And our readers must be idiots too. So they're "susceptible" to the marketing.
GeekMommy
- We're doing this. It's the 21st century. There's a certain level
where if you're under 25, you ignore the advertisements. You don't see
the flashy things. They've tracked the eye movements. Reviews are the
future of marketing. If a mommy tells me about a sponge that works, it
means far more to me than if a model holds it up on TV and says it's
fabulous. We are the future of marketing. We get to decide where we're
going with this.
Audience member- I recently agreed to review
something, I don't do it often, but they actually sent me the content
of what I was supposed to do. (gasps) And I said basically "F... you" I
don't understand this because I want to hear about what is good and bad.
AMN-
You hear about people getting sued. They can sue you over anything they
want. They might not win but it's a hassle and you spend money. Errance
policies are $5000 a year.
Audience member (Jennifer Tagger -thesmartmom)- Not always. I know about some insurance that's cheaper.
Resourceful Mother - Become an LLC and it will help protect your house and our money.
AMN - Talk to an attorney.
Recourceful
Mom- If you're a site that is reviewing products and you review
everything. If you're only looking for positive reveiws then there is
no reason for negative reviews. But I think it's important to put it
out there that not everything is for everyone. I always say at the
bottom that something might not be for a certain group.
GeekMommy- There's a difference between a recommendation and a review. Good point!
Audience
member- I wanted to address one thing that you said about how they're
picking on us because we're women and we're stupid. I think it
undercuts it.
AMN- I believe that.
Audience member- It's not true. The government is severly going after doctors, drug companies and device companies.
GeekyMommy- They're protecting the public when they can't help themselves.
Allie (Fussypants) - We don't have a lobby. We don't have well-paid attorneys to say, "back off the mommybloggers."
GeekyMommy- Can I please ask that no matter how you feel about this, please go and have your voice heard in the FTC debate.
Audience
member- The second part of my comment, was that I started my blog as a
writing excercise. I have reviewed things of my own volition and asked
if I want a thank you note from the company. I felt like I didn't know
what to say.
GeekMommy- You don't need to retract your opinion just because someone said thank you.
Allie (Fussyoants) - I know this isn't a political panel, but I'm very concerned about the FTC overreaching.
GeekMommy-
I should write about how to reach them. When it comes right down to
them, I really do believe that we're a government of the people and not
about the people.
Audience member- I think it's important to
offer feedback with constructive criticism in it. I would never even
think to write and all-positive review. I'm overwhelmed with how many
reviews out there are crap. And I think we should get paid for thorough
reviews.
Audience member- I think some people are just about
getting free stuff. I have no problem saying that "They gave this to
me." I'd write a normal post about it. I spoke with someone yesterday
and she was saying that you're not going to need to worry about all of
this. People are making a bigger deal than it is. Do you see that?
(general uproar)
GeekMommy-
The FTC is trying to decide if they think it's ethical for bloggers to
accept payment. We're ten years into blogging, but not 10 yrs into
dealing with companies.
Audience members- Adam- It's not so much
the concern for you, but it's the concern for the companies. They're
worried that the companies will stop sending out blanks.
GeekMommy- The lawyers hate social media.
Audience
member- For the bloggers that are scared to take stuff. I work with
traditional media and they get stuff all the time. I can guarantee that
magazines don't put all of the stuff out there. They pick the ones that
they have best contact with. Obviously we don't want negative reviews,
but it's a chance to see if people would like stuff better.
GeekMommy- Tell the company that they can interact in the comments with readers.
AMN- I'd like to see that too. They're scared to do that.
Audience
member- If mom bloggers are being targeted now, then who will be
targeted next? Am I going to be next? Should I start writing reviews.
GeekMommy- If someone sends you something unsolicited you are under no obligation to review it.
Audience
member- I can tell you that I've had reviews done about my company
since it started and I would never expect someone to review it for
nothing. I'm a review blogger also, and by the same token, I'm going to
accept the product. I'm not blogging for applesauce. I'm giving my own
opinion. I'll say "this worked" or "there are reasons why this might
not be for you." I'm expecting constructive criticism as well as the
general accolades.
GeekMommy- You're right. You don't have to
charge money. You need to be able to say that you wanted to review
them. You aren't betraying all womankind for doing a review with or
without pay.
AMN- And you have the right to change over time too.
I don't have as much time as I used to. And I'm burnt out on things I
did five years ago. It's a learning process.
Audience member - I think the real issue is that there are fees behind the contests and giveaways. Like for instance, we don't know how much 5minformom was given for the item.
Janice- 5minformom- I have a requested fee so that I can pay my staff. But it is requested, and if a company is too poor to pay it then we'll still do the giveaway. But because I have a staff to pay and we are offering a service to the company, then I give them the opportunity to pay.
GeekMommy- Don't ever feel pressured to do what someone else tells you to do with your blog. You can take a PR break. You know what's best for your blog.
Audience member- In the beginning days we were sent a lot of stuff that we didn't like. If we get something that we don't like then what should we do. If I start writing negative about Frigidair would Whirlpool look at me in five years and say, "We're never working with them again?"
Audience member- PR person- We look to engage moms because we want to know what you truly think. We want to know why you don't like it. In the long run, we're looking to understand better what you want.
Audience member- ok but telling you is one thing and putting it on the world wide web is another thing. Do you really want me to tell everybody?
Audience member- To be fair, you don't get black listed or not contacted. But if you keep saying that the product sucks over and over, then the company might send it to someone else.
GeekMommy- Constructive criticism is important.
Audience member - PR for Intel - We want to learn, and it's the new thing. I don't represent the whole corporate America. A lot of the worries expressed here about being sued and never being contacted again, you don't have to worry about this. Our policy is that we don't pay for reviews. It's important to us that you disclose to your readers that we sponsored you because we care about how people perceive the company.
GeekMommy- It bothers me that you say that your policy is not to pay bloggers.
Intel- I want to know how I can help you within the confines of our policies. The real issue is tansparency.
AMN- Next year, if everyone in this room says "We don't do unpaid reviews, how likely is Intel to change the policies?"
Intel - I think there needs to be room for change. Right now we don't pay the media.
Susan - One of the things, the companies are just figuiring this out as companies. Part of the problem is that PR is over there and Advertising is over here. The change needs to come there. I think there's room for all of these types of sponsorship because you have to keep your readers. Give the companies a break as they learn this whole new system.
GeekMommy- this conversation won't end when we walk out of the room.
audience member- journalist - what i can say is this. If you're accepting products, don't worry about that. It's very common for reviewers to accept products. Journalists might buy products for review or request them. I think the FTC thing is a sign of respect. They see you as a big voice and see how it could get shady. I think the overall intent is to say that you're an influential group. Draw the line at taking money for writing an ad.
GeekMommy - Having an opinion is important.
Audience member- Tiger Woods plays gold as a labor of love. But the Nike shirt he wears was not a product they gave him to take home. They paid for it.
Audience member - What about these women out there who couldn't afford to come to BlogHer? They might need that money to put food on the table. They might be happy to have the applesauce and diapers.
AMN- True. $100 can make a big difference in a week for some people.
GeekMommy- And unemployment is 10% at this time. Some people would be more than happy to receive what they can get.
Audience member- Back to the FTC thing. They don't have the capacity to police it all.
(general uproar)
Audience member- I mean that I'm concerned people will start attacking each other. It's a bit scary that people will start looking around and saying "You're not doing this right."
BlogHer Business '09 Presentations ›
Submitted by CityStreams (view blog) on Tue, 07/21/2009 - 2:28am
Posted In BlogHer '09 Live-Blogging
Comments (11)
Comments
Holy Misinformation. Wow.
I'm a little concerned about some of the misinformation about the FTC proposal that seems to be out there as a result of this panel, and the generally one-sided perspective on things which missed an opportunity to offer genuine guidance to bloggers seeking it.
But the thing I've been noticed is that in the news business, they
don't follow any ethical guidelines. So why is the FTC going after us?
AMN- Because we're women and we're moms so we must be idiots.
AMN- And our readers must be idiots too. So they're "susceptible" to the marketing.
First of all, journalists do in fact have guidelines and I find it a little odd to hear no one refute the accusation here. Recently one of the NYT columnists was forced to return his payment for a keynote speech to a corporation. Magazines keep editorial and advertising separate. And while bloggers don't have that luxury, surely we could put our heads together and try and figure out some ways to work this out.
Also, the FTC is not actually "after" moms or mommy bloggers or women in general. If you'll read the document (it's about 86 pages), you'll see the issue is deceptive marketing practices on the part of the marketers who are using blogs (among other things) to promote unsubstantiated claims, or to disseminate testimonials that sound like consumer reviews but are actually paid. That's where bloggers need to watch out.
That said, most of the document deals with things like weight loss claims and hair loss remedies and affiliate programs. Not free apple sauce.
Audience member- Tiger Woods plays gold as a labor of love. But the
Nike shirt he wears was not a product they gave him to take home. They
paid for it.
According to the FTC, celebrities are different because there is a general assumption (ie, no we're NOT stupid) that they were paid to do that TV spot. There is not an assumption that someone who googles a product and ends up at a mommy blog is equally on the payroll.
Here's the reality: Once you accept money from a marketer you are on the payroll and it seems reasonable that you are held accountable to the same standards as their ad agencies and production companies.
GeekMommy- It bothers me that you [Intel] say that your policy is not to pay bloggers.
Actually Intel has a wonderful reputation as supporting bloggers. They did a big conversational marketing program last year with the Federated Media authors, including my own site, and they're currently sponsoring the "Bucket List" posts at mightygirl.net
That is not at all the same as paying for reviews.
This isn't about whether moms have the right to make a living or not. Of course we do! But this discussion should be about whether it's okay to be dishonest (if not to outright deceptive) because you think it will get you a better refrigrerator down the road.
I'm sorry there was a missed opportunity to provide some common sense guidelines for those who wish to monetize their blogs.
It would be nice to hear discussions about disclosure policies, indemnity agreements with sponsors, and ways to maintain reader trust even as we all hope to make a living.
Mom-101
Cool Mom Picks.com
Submitted by Mom101 on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 09:30
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Misinformation is right, but not in the way
you think
Liz:
This is the first chance I've had to read this live-blog of the event - and sadly, it kind of points out the limitations of live-blogging.
It is *very* difficult to actually transcribe a live event accurately - so as a result, you get summaries, paraphrases, text without context (either emotional or verbal) and in general? Some misinformation.
I'm actually not a fan of live-blogging for those very reasons. You're judging our session based on a second-hand report transcribed by someone else, but you weren't there to actually witness the event.
Just reading over this, I find a few errors that substantially change the meaning of what was said. To whit: above it says "I've written a post on how we don't have a webguide on how to run contests and giveaways." What I actually said (and wrote about) was "I've written a post on how we don't have a web guy to run our contests and giveaways for us." -- those are two very different concepts.
There was much discussion on how journalists from larger publications do adhere to a strict ethical code, but that a) from one audience member's experience as a former journalist for smaller, less recognized publications, those ethics were seldom enforced, and b) that in certain circles (the example that sticks out was Beauty & Fashion magazines) it is in fact common practice to accept items "for review" that show up time and again in the "suggested for Season X" sections of the magazine rather than being disclosed.
If you had been at the session - you would've known that Anne-Marie's comments were said tonally with much sarcasm. You also would've known that I am a huge proponent of the FTC adopting guidelines - but that I think they need to focus on more than just "Mom Bloggers" but the field of bloggers in general. I also gave considerably more information on what the FTC is and does and why we need it.
There's a reason that we have live conference sessions rather than just passing out pamphlets or blogging, and that's for the interaction - to judge a session based on one written account of it is probably not the best manner of deciding whether or not it was the source of the "misinformation" you believe is being given out.
There is an old adage in the legal field that however many witnesses you have to an event, that's how many variations you will have on what actually happened, and somewhere in there lies the actual event. Additionally, there's a reason that court reporters use transcription machines and have considerable training in accurate recording... Live blogging gives you a sense of what it was like to be there, including mishearing things you might as an audience member or even speaker - but to use it to decide whether a session was giving out valid information or not is probably not your best course of action.
Lucretia (aka GeekMommy) Raising a child in a digital world, still a dig
ital girl
Submitted by GeekMommy on Wed, 08/12/2009 - 12:05
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Thanks Lucretia
Am very happy to hear the clarification. You're right, I can only go on the live blog and the perspectives from others in the room who are commenting here and elsewhere. It's almost like it was two different sessions! Would love to hear the audio/video if there was any done.
Mom-101
Cool Mom Picks.com
Submitted by Mom101 on Wed, 08/12/2009 - 12:17
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Journalist Ethics
I want to echo Liz' comments about traditional media. If you visit any of the major news organizations' websites, you'll find an ethics policy. They often aren't even allowed to have a sponsored meal or beverage without a conflict. The difference is that members of traditional media are paid to write those reviews by their companies.
I don't believe in paid reviews. I think it's nearly impossible to get any sort of impartial opinion if you're paying someone. Who's going to say they hate a product if they're getting paid? I believe that there are two solutions. The first is that we find ways to monetize our blogs through more formal advertising opportunities and I think this is feasible as companies start looking to shift their advertising from traditional media to blogs. The second is to call a spade a spade. If you only want to say the good things, stop calling it a review and start calling it a recommendation.
I'm interested to see how this all pans out. I don't believe that most people visit blogs to get real reviews on topics. They visit for the giveaways. I suspect that companies are going to start getting wise to this over time and make a shift in how they handle blogging campaigns.
Christy
Submitted by MoreThanMommy on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 09:50
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Sponsored panel liveblog
I was the "Susan" who spoke, and the paraphrase of my comment shows one of the dangers of liveblogging events. My comment was far broader than is represented here, and I am certain included mention of the importance of disclosure and integrity on both sides, bloggers and marketers.
I'm also baffled at the continued confusion of what is going on regarding the FTC guidelines. These guidelines take absolutely no position on whether bloggers should be compensated, either directly or with free product.
However, if they are compensated, the FTC plans to apply its guidelines on commercial endorsements, which as Mom 101 points out, were created to protect consumers from deceptive advertising practices.
That's ALL bloggers, not just moms.
I don't mean to oversimplify, but a really good start for any blogger is to disclose your policies on your blog. Whatever they happen to be.
Submitted by Susan Getgood on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 09:59
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I was the only one who raised my hand
When asked if it was okay or not to accept money for a post, I was the only one in the room who raised my hand AGAINST. I was quoted in the live blog as saying "You'll find it ironic that I'm a marketer by day and a blogger by
night, but I do not feel that there is no place for paid reviews and
contests in blogging."
This is a tiny portion of what I had to say. I was astonished that anyone would think it is OK for bloggers to accept payment for posts or giveaways WITHOUT DISCLOSING that they've been compensated. A paid post or giveaway is ADVERTISING and should be treated as such.
One of the reasons brands have courted mommybloggers is our reputation for honesty and authenticity. If we can be bought, we lose our credibility. If we lose our credibility, I'm confident we'll lose our readers too.
I wrote about this controversy in more detail on my blog and I'm speaking with Chicago's CBS News anchor Dorothy Tucker about my position later today.
www.marketingmommy.net
Submitted by Marketingmommy on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 10:08
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I Was There, Too
@MarketingMommy I was in this session as well and honestly wasn't paying attention to hear the question and raise my hand. I staunchly believe in disclosure as I'm sure the vast majority of that room does as well. So, I don't want people to assume that everyone in that room believes they can get paid for posts without disclosing because that's just not true.
If I remember correctly, the question was also worded in an odd way which may have been confusing to a lot in the room. I know a lot of pro-disclosure people in that room, including myself.
Founder of the Mom Bloggers Club | Editor of The Mom Salon | Blogger at Mothering.com
Submitted by JenniferJames on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 18:03
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You weren't alone actually
From the front of the room? There were about a half-dozen or more who raised their hands against. :)
Lucretia (aka GeekMommy) Raising a child in a digital world, still a digital girl
Submitted by GeekMommy on Wed, 08/12/2009 - 12:09
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I knew the sarcasm wasn't going to translate
It's Anne-Marie Nichols (AMN) here. First, I didn't mean to say that the FTC was picking on mom bloggers. My point about mom bloggers being picked on was by the mainstream media, not the FTC.
I am upset that journalists continue to pick on bloggers who are moms and women as the example of bad bloggers who don't disclose freebies/payment without really checking out the details and saying that one mom blogger (or a handful of them) represents all mom or female bloggers. It's lazy and doesn't give an accurate picture.
I would like to challenge AdWeek, Newsweek, the New York Times, et al, to look at tech bloggers (both male and female), sports equipment bloggers, gaming bloggers, food bloggers, etc., etc. and see what they're doing as far as taking free or sample products, disclosure, etc.
But they don't, in my opinion, because it's easy to pick on moms with an attitude of, "Oh look at the cute little mommies and what they're doing in their spare time when they're not wiping baby bottoms." It's dismissive especially when many of these women had professional careers before they "off-tracked" and stayed home to raise kids.
I hear the same attitude expressed by traditional media every time they do a Mommy Wars (SAHM vs. outside the home working moms) story and it ticks me off because traditional media considers moms "cute" (which is basically saying stupid) and not to be taken seriously as thinking human beings with considerable economic, social, and political power.
As far as the session went, I believe everyone agreed that FULL DISCLOSURE and having a clear policy page on your blog is a must. I'd like to see it done on all blogs, no matter what their subject matter, as well as traditional media sites. Why traditional media? It's because my regional paper, The Denver Post, and many of the food and women's magazines I read seem to feature many of the same products I'm being pitched to by PR people, publishers, and companies. Coincidence? I think not.
Submitted by mamarant on Wed, 07/29/2009 - 16:46
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Readers are Smart but They Don't Make the
Same Assumptions
This comment bothered me:
Audience member - Janice 5minformom- I feel that it's obvious to my readers. It should be common sense. If I'm giving away a product then obviously I didn't go out and buy the product myself. I mean I love my readers but not that much.
It may be obvious to some of you who have review sites, do a lot of giveaways and/or are contacted by a lot of companies sponsoring these situations. But it isn't that way for all bloggers. Not every blogger who does a review or giveaway is given the item by a company for free. I know I’ve read those bloggers and sometimes I enter their contests.
I blog about green living, saving money, and decorating. I write reviews of items on my blog. Some are items I’ve won in a contest. Some are items I’ve purchased myself or received as a gift from a person I know (not a company.) And yes, sometimes I review items that a company hasn’t given me. I think it’s important that I tell my readers where I get the products I write about. I also think that it’s important to list the pros and cons of each item I review so my readers can judge for themselves if the item will work for them. Basically, I try to conduct and write the types of reviews I personally find helpful and read.
We can't always asume that our readers will know when you're given an item for free or are a paid company spokesperson because in essance that's what paid reviews are. If a blogger is being paid for their endorsement or even for running a giveaway I want to know, because if the company is paying the blogger then they may be telling the blogger what they should say about their product. I want to know that up front that I have to take what they say about something with a grain of salt.
Condo Blues Green living and money saving tips http://condo-blues.blogspot.com/
Submitted by Condo Blues on Tue, 08/11/2009 - 17:04
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Readers are not always "readers"
I tend to forget myself that not all readers to my blogs are dedicated readers. About half come from google search, and of course there are links from other blogs. If you do a giveaway it's often linked on dedicated giveaway sites. so you bring up a really good point that not all blog readers operate with the same level of understanding about the blog.
Mom-101
Cool Mom Picks.com
Submitted by Mom101 on Tue, 08/11/2009 - 17:20
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GeekMommy - Having an opinion is important.
Audience member- Tiger Woods plays gold as a labor of love. But the Nike shirt he wears was not a product they gave him to take home. They paid for it.
Audience member - What about these women out there who couldn't afford to come to BlogHer? They might need that money to put food on the table. They might be happy to have the applesauce and diapers.
AMN- True. $100 can make a big difference in a week for some people.
GeekMommy- And unemployment is 10% at this time. Some people would be more than happy to receive what they can get.
Audience member- Back to the FTC thing. They don't have the capacity to police it all.
(general uproar)
Audience member- I mean that I'm concerned people will start attacking each other. It's a bit scary that people will start looking around and saying "You're not doing this right."
Saturday, August 15, 2009
It’s A Beautiful Morning…..
After an evening of partying I expected to feel worse. When I didn’t feel as bad as I thought I would I was surprised at how badly I did feel. Does that make sense? My throat was sore and my stomach was feeling a bit queasy. My head was hurting but not that big drum boom and throb of a typical hangover. I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV but I took the fact that my throat hurt as a sign that I was not experiencing a hangover. Instead I diagnosed my problem as being the onset of some low grade cold because no fever was accompanying it.
I took an aspirin and reached for what I thought was a glass of water. I had forgotten that this was a mostly full glass of vodka and tonic. (Note to self it might be wise to sniff what you are about to drink before consuming it especially after a night of drinking.) I tossed the Excedrin Extra Strength and my allergy pill into my mouth and took a big swig of the clear liquid. I almost let the liquid spray from my mouth but in that same moment of realization of what I had done.
With no chance for a do-over I sank back into my bed and tried to see if I could sleep off whatever malady I was suffering from within the span of an hours nap. My eyes fluttered in a mocking attempt at sleep and then I had to race to the toilet. While I was experiencing one of those stomach emptying, hangover, emesis episode I was certain that I had expelled both the aspirin and the allergy medicine.
I lay back in bed and stared at the screen of the TV. I had defiantly left it on all night. A luxury I haven’t been able to do since I got married. My husband had to have a pitch black room with no noise in order to go to sleep whereas the background white noise of a TV helped me drift right off to sleep and helped to wake me up the next morning.
The morning news made no reference of bloggers or the blogging revolution but instead talked about Town Hall Meetings, sports scores, and the weather. My headache starts to abate but my throat feels a bit more sore. I’m thinking about a green tea latte from Starbucks and wondering if that will help.
Breakfast begins at 8:30 so I decide to trot over to the nearest Starbucks two blocks away still wearing my Tinkerbell nightgown with flip flops and for added affect I don my black sweater. Perhaps in the big city I should garner a lot of stares. People should probably point at me and think me a bag lady. It is only about 6:30 in the morning and hardly anyone is out in the street yet. I’m able to make it to Starbucks without being noticed. I walk up to the counter and hand the gentleman who is waiting on me my gift card as I order my drink. He should be rolling his eyes. He should be motioning his head in my direction so that others will see the “crazy old lady” who is waiting for her drink. Instead he acts as though this sort of thing happens every day. Perhaps it does.
By the time I get back to the hotel I have decided that I will shower but not bother doing anything to my hair. After all in a few more hours I will have a Beverly Hills Hair dresser styling it. I finish my tea and turn on the shower. The water and the tea have cleared by the last vestiges of my headache. My stomach was no longer queasy either. So I got out of bed, showered, changed, and headed down to breakfast. No need to put on any makeup because I already had an appointment to have that professionally done today too.
I don’t know why I didn’t notice that they had oatmeal for breakfast yesterday. Perhaps it was because I ate that HUGE piece of cheesecake. I LOVE oatmeal so I helped myself to a big bowl with brown sugar and bananas.
Once again I missed a Keynote address but this time it was because I had to hurry to my hair appointment. Dah-ling I feel so glamorous. I went downstairs to the Suave vendor’s table.
Let me start by saying I LOVE Suave. I have always loved Suave products. You really don’t have to spend a fortune to get great results. I am the type of person who goes to the hair salon and listens as the stylist tries to sell me $30 shampoo and I almost gasp. What do you mean $30 for shampoo? So to be truthful they didn’t have to offer me a free makeover to get me to buy Suave products. That great party that I crashed the night before didn’t matter much either because I use Suave products an awful lot.
There was a bit of confusion because two women were already occupying the chairs. I was supposed to be next and I told the one young lady who I was and she said it would be a few minutes. I watched as the talented hair dressers fluffed and primped and to say I couldn’t wait until it was my turn would be a bit of an understatement.
I’m the girl who often has to go to the beauty school or if I’m really trying to stretch my dollars then I’m forgoing getting my hair cut for months after it should have been touched up. It’s no secret that I’ve been known to take a snip at my bangs to keep them out of my eyes.
True just a couple of days ago I’d had my hair dyed and foiled professionally for free. That was the second time in my whole life I’d had my hair professionally dyed. The first time had been in a beauty school. This time, however, my hair was going to be styled by a beautiful Beverly Hills hair stylist.
A few moments after I showed up another woman showed up talking about how she’d missed her hair appointment the day before and they were going to try to squeeze her in if the woman who was scheduled didn’t show. I noticed that one of the women got out of the chair and was given some Suave hair care products. Inside my head I was saying “My turn. My turn! Pick me! Pick me!” The hairdresser spoke briefly to the woman handling the reservations and the woman who arrived after me. I heard them say well if this woman doesn’t show you can have her appointment. I don’t know what made me ask but I asked if it was Cathy and they said yes. Well that’s me!
What’s the polite thing to do? Should I let the woman who missed her appointment go ahead of me? Is it impolite for her to expect to go ahead of me? I didn’t have to make that decision because I was told to take a seat.
My hair stylist was a beautiful woman named Anna Vidito. She is the kind of woman you would have expected to see in a music video that sang about beautiful women. If I’d have been in my twenties I’d have felt self-conscious because I would have felt that I was the dumpy one in her presence. Her smile radiated California sunshine and she was just so well, NICE. You just couldn’t help but like her.
Just a couple of hours before I’d been lying in my bed hoping my condition didn’t worsen. Now I was there being treated like royalty. We talked about my students. We talked about having your own business. We talked about Suave products. She gave me advice about my hair and just wanted to take her home and adopt her.
After all this she presented me with a bag of Suave Products that she felt would be good for my hair. They included:
Suave Volumizing Spray Gel (my new favorite hair care product because it works so well on my baby fine hair)
Suave Volumizing Shampoo
Suave Volumizing Conditioner
Suave Color Care Shampoo
Suave Color Care Conditioner
They say that all good things must come to an end so did this. So Anna, thank you so much for making this old lady feel beautiful!!!!!.
Swag, Thievery, and Hooligans
Here's where I come back to the swag. I'm a sweeper. This means that sometimes I win things like a t-shirt with a movie's name on it. Some people say things like "You won a T-shirt? Big deal!" For me that t-shirt is cool.
I've never had a lot of money. Any little niceties I've ever had came because I was involved with sweeping. Some people laugh and roll their eyes but I am always thrilled when I receive my next CD or t-shirt. I am so grateful to all the companies I have ever won things from that I write them hand written thank you letters. I tend to be brand loyal to companies who sponsor sweeps.
The whole concept that I would receive "SWAG" here really didn't factor in my wanting to attend and I totally imagined that it would be in the form of T-shirts, mousepads, pencils, pens, etc. I was so amazed when I dumped my first one out that it was like Christmas.
You have to understand that right now my husband does not have a job so I kind of looked at this trip to BlogHer as my birthday gift even though it was something I won from Kraft. When I saw the stuff in my first swagbag I honestly felt like this truly was the best birthday I'd ever had. I had gone to wondering how my birthday was going to shake out to wow I can't believe this.
Some girls have beautiful Sweet Sixteen parties. For some girls their 13th birthday is filled with pink balloons and cake with pink flowers. We were too poor for all that. When I was 21 I was a single mom working two jobs and I was thrilled to get my birthday off but I couldn't afford to do anything special for that day. This was to be my 50th birthday. My next big birthday wasn't going to be until I was 75. Two years ago my husband and I talked about going on a cruise or going to Hawaii which had been my life's dream. All the world was our oyster.
When Darryl lost his job everything changed. I just felt it was my lot in life to NEVER have one of those "WOW CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?" Birthday party. Now here I was in Chicago, in a beautiful hotel, and the fact that someone handed me bag that included an Kodak HD Video cam and a $50 Pro Flowers gift card blew me away.
All the flashing of cameras and the massages, tattoos, and the parties were really all heady stuff. It didn't make me drunk with power but it did make me very appreciative. I took business cards and I would write hand written thank you cards to the people I met who supplied me with all this stuff. I had brought a box of thank you cards to thank all the people I met at Kraft but once I did that I began writing the other letters in earnest.
I never pushed anyone, never shoved anyone, never pouted whined, cried, or anything else because I "missed out" on a lot of the swag I heard about from others. Oh there's that I wish I'd known about that moment but other than that when I talk about swag it was all fun for me. I never knew that people would go CRAZY over this stuff but then again I suppose I should have known.
I remember hearing a story a couple of years ago about some giveaway that was supposed to happen in Central park. I want to say a certain number of people were going to get $50 or maybe $100 but it was only for the first X number of people. It was a radio stunt that went awry. People lined up 10 deep and when the giveaway began people were thrown to the ground and injured. When I heard about that it reminded me of what my Dad used to always say about large groups. "Stay Away."
It appears that some of the "ladies" elbowed bloggers or babies to get ahead in the line. There were reports of hand shaped bruises on Mommy Need's Coffee's arm. Reports of stolen swag were also circling. I'm serious. People were stealing from elevator carts and even stole from other people.
I was shocked. I first learned of this at BowlHer (that's another story) and it just sounded so incredible.
I also learned of an incident where there was a blackmail attempt for CROCS. Heck I got a pair of Crocs but they didn't have my size so I'll either give them away on my blog or I will give them to one of my students. Some of them do not have money for new clothes or shoes and I have certainly been there. I think they'd just love that.
The attitude of entitlement was pervasive among some rather than adopting an attitude of gratitude. I realize I have a case of low self-esteem but some people need to get over themselves.
I'll give you an example, I overheard one woman speaking with another about how she was "supposed to get a NEW dishwasher but it was taking so long so they contacted her and asked if she wanted to wait for a date in the future for that dishwasher or if she'd be willing to do a product review about detergent and receive a new front loading washer and dryer."
She didn't say it like "Oh I can't believe this. I'm just so very excited." She said it as though she felt she deserved the washer and dryer and they should give her those as well as the dishwasher because she actually had to wait to receive the dishwasher.
MY GOD!!!!! When when I was raising little ones I was working two jobs and still eligible for food stamps. I used to have to take the two of them to the laundry mat where we sat reading books in the hot building so that no one would steal our clothes. I'd have been thrilled if someone had offered to feed some coins into the dryer for me so that I could have bought the boys some fries at McDonalds or a soda.
I'm the only one in the house working right now and I'm taking care of my elderly father-in-law to boot. I am using some of my resources to buy school supplies for my students because many of them are in worse shape. Many of them are in homes with no adult working. Gosh I wish the back pack fairy would fall from the sky and give me some back packs for some of my students. As it is I bought two out of my own pocket and the one I received from Lands End also went to a student. I would have hugged any vendor who handed me a box of 50 pencils because that's about how many kids who will be stopping by my class when they take those high stakes tests telling me they forgot their pencil. I received lots of flash drives with product information that I uploaded to my computer then erased the information. Guess who is getting them? Not me. Some teachers are requiring kids to buy these and I only have one left. So excuse me for not feeling this woman's pain.
I almost jumped in to say something along the lines of "Are you kidding me?" Then I realized that I was the one eavesdropping so I really didn't have much room to talk.
The second day I was at BlogHer I saw woman open one of the many reusable grocery bags and began throwing bottle after bottle of Samples of the All Detergent. I was given two, sure I'd like more but you know what? If I took more then others wouldn't get any. They obviously only gave me two because they'd figured that was the fair number so that everyone would get some. They never said, hey help yourself there little lady. If they did I might have filled a bag and dropped them off at our local food pantry. After all the plant where my husband worked has closed down and he's far from being the only one effected by it. We are lucky because I am a teacher so we aren't dependent on the food pantry but some people are.
So do I feel a bit guilty about the swag? No. Why should I? I didn't obtain any of it in a dishonest way. I didn't demand anything. Do I feel like I was a swag hag? No because much of what I did get I shared with others and I actually wrote emails and thank you cards to many of the companies that provided these things to me. I have already begun writing reviews about some of the products like Swiffer, like Lands End, like Kraft, like McDonalds, like Ragu, and then I've emailed the rep to let them know how much I appreciated it as well as letting my readers know that I received these things FREE.
I think there are people who were conflicted with all the swag put those doubts aside and acted like a spoiled child. Some people felt that the swag demeaned there craft (more about that) yet they accepted the swag "against their better judgement." (more on that later).
I didn't feel guilty about the swag because the companies wanted to put these products in our hands in hopes that we would talk about them. It is a business transaction that they did to promote goodwill. I don't feel sullied by it. My blog is about saving money at the store so in and of its very nature it is commercial. I am not honing my craft while writing the next great American novel, pushing an agenda, or trumpeting my baby's latest accomplishment. I'm just telling people how to save money. I'm telling people about where to get free or reduced priced medication or health care. Companies are looking to spend their advertising money wisely and they know that blogging is the new revolution.
Then again if I had pushed babies, stolen swag, and acted like the world revolved around me I'd be so very embarrassed.
I've never had a lot of money. Any little niceties I've ever had came because I was involved with sweeping. Some people laugh and roll their eyes but I am always thrilled when I receive my next CD or t-shirt. I am so grateful to all the companies I have ever won things from that I write them hand written thank you letters. I tend to be brand loyal to companies who sponsor sweeps.
The whole concept that I would receive "SWAG" here really didn't factor in my wanting to attend and I totally imagined that it would be in the form of T-shirts, mousepads, pencils, pens, etc. I was so amazed when I dumped my first one out that it was like Christmas.
You have to understand that right now my husband does not have a job so I kind of looked at this trip to BlogHer as my birthday gift even though it was something I won from Kraft. When I saw the stuff in my first swagbag I honestly felt like this truly was the best birthday I'd ever had. I had gone to wondering how my birthday was going to shake out to wow I can't believe this.
Some girls have beautiful Sweet Sixteen parties. For some girls their 13th birthday is filled with pink balloons and cake with pink flowers. We were too poor for all that. When I was 21 I was a single mom working two jobs and I was thrilled to get my birthday off but I couldn't afford to do anything special for that day. This was to be my 50th birthday. My next big birthday wasn't going to be until I was 75. Two years ago my husband and I talked about going on a cruise or going to Hawaii which had been my life's dream. All the world was our oyster.
When Darryl lost his job everything changed. I just felt it was my lot in life to NEVER have one of those "WOW CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?" Birthday party. Now here I was in Chicago, in a beautiful hotel, and the fact that someone handed me bag that included an Kodak HD Video cam and a $50 Pro Flowers gift card blew me away.
All the flashing of cameras and the massages, tattoos, and the parties were really all heady stuff. It didn't make me drunk with power but it did make me very appreciative. I took business cards and I would write hand written thank you cards to the people I met who supplied me with all this stuff. I had brought a box of thank you cards to thank all the people I met at Kraft but once I did that I began writing the other letters in earnest.
I never pushed anyone, never shoved anyone, never pouted whined, cried, or anything else because I "missed out" on a lot of the swag I heard about from others. Oh there's that I wish I'd known about that moment but other than that when I talk about swag it was all fun for me. I never knew that people would go CRAZY over this stuff but then again I suppose I should have known.
I remember hearing a story a couple of years ago about some giveaway that was supposed to happen in Central park. I want to say a certain number of people were going to get $50 or maybe $100 but it was only for the first X number of people. It was a radio stunt that went awry. People lined up 10 deep and when the giveaway began people were thrown to the ground and injured. When I heard about that it reminded me of what my Dad used to always say about large groups. "Stay Away."
It appears that some of the "ladies" elbowed bloggers or babies to get ahead in the line. There were reports of hand shaped bruises on Mommy Need's Coffee's arm. Reports of stolen swag were also circling. I'm serious. People were stealing from elevator carts and even stole from other people.
I was shocked. I first learned of this at BowlHer (that's another story) and it just sounded so incredible.
I also learned of an incident where there was a blackmail attempt for CROCS. Heck I got a pair of Crocs but they didn't have my size so I'll either give them away on my blog or I will give them to one of my students. Some of them do not have money for new clothes or shoes and I have certainly been there. I think they'd just love that.
The attitude of entitlement was pervasive among some rather than adopting an attitude of gratitude. I realize I have a case of low self-esteem but some people need to get over themselves.
I'll give you an example, I overheard one woman speaking with another about how she was "supposed to get a NEW dishwasher but it was taking so long so they contacted her and asked if she wanted to wait for a date in the future for that dishwasher or if she'd be willing to do a product review about detergent and receive a new front loading washer and dryer."
She didn't say it like "Oh I can't believe this. I'm just so very excited." She said it as though she felt she deserved the washer and dryer and they should give her those as well as the dishwasher because she actually had to wait to receive the dishwasher.
MY GOD!!!!! When when I was raising little ones I was working two jobs and still eligible for food stamps. I used to have to take the two of them to the laundry mat where we sat reading books in the hot building so that no one would steal our clothes. I'd have been thrilled if someone had offered to feed some coins into the dryer for me so that I could have bought the boys some fries at McDonalds or a soda.
I'm the only one in the house working right now and I'm taking care of my elderly father-in-law to boot. I am using some of my resources to buy school supplies for my students because many of them are in worse shape. Many of them are in homes with no adult working. Gosh I wish the back pack fairy would fall from the sky and give me some back packs for some of my students. As it is I bought two out of my own pocket and the one I received from Lands End also went to a student. I would have hugged any vendor who handed me a box of 50 pencils because that's about how many kids who will be stopping by my class when they take those high stakes tests telling me they forgot their pencil. I received lots of flash drives with product information that I uploaded to my computer then erased the information. Guess who is getting them? Not me. Some teachers are requiring kids to buy these and I only have one left. So excuse me for not feeling this woman's pain.
I almost jumped in to say something along the lines of "Are you kidding me?" Then I realized that I was the one eavesdropping so I really didn't have much room to talk.
The second day I was at BlogHer I saw woman open one of the many reusable grocery bags and began throwing bottle after bottle of Samples of the All Detergent. I was given two, sure I'd like more but you know what? If I took more then others wouldn't get any. They obviously only gave me two because they'd figured that was the fair number so that everyone would get some. They never said, hey help yourself there little lady. If they did I might have filled a bag and dropped them off at our local food pantry. After all the plant where my husband worked has closed down and he's far from being the only one effected by it. We are lucky because I am a teacher so we aren't dependent on the food pantry but some people are.
So do I feel a bit guilty about the swag? No. Why should I? I didn't obtain any of it in a dishonest way. I didn't demand anything. Do I feel like I was a swag hag? No because much of what I did get I shared with others and I actually wrote emails and thank you cards to many of the companies that provided these things to me. I have already begun writing reviews about some of the products like Swiffer, like Lands End, like Kraft, like McDonalds, like Ragu, and then I've emailed the rep to let them know how much I appreciated it as well as letting my readers know that I received these things FREE.
I think there are people who were conflicted with all the swag put those doubts aside and acted like a spoiled child. Some people felt that the swag demeaned there craft (more about that) yet they accepted the swag "against their better judgement." (more on that later).
I didn't feel guilty about the swag because the companies wanted to put these products in our hands in hopes that we would talk about them. It is a business transaction that they did to promote goodwill. I don't feel sullied by it. My blog is about saving money at the store so in and of its very nature it is commercial. I am not honing my craft while writing the next great American novel, pushing an agenda, or trumpeting my baby's latest accomplishment. I'm just telling people how to save money. I'm telling people about where to get free or reduced priced medication or health care. Companies are looking to spend their advertising money wisely and they know that blogging is the new revolution.
Then again if I had pushed babies, stolen swag, and acted like the world revolved around me I'd be so very embarrassed.
Oh I Wish I Were An Oscar Mayer Weiner
That is what I truly want to be. ‘Cause if I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner, everyone would be in love with me.
Until today I had only seen the Wienermobile only one time in my whole life. They had one out in front of the Commissary at Langley Air Force Base. On that particular day they were giving away Oscar Meyer Wieners. I think I was more excited than my son Michael.
When I learned that I could take a ride in the Wienermobile I jumped at the chance. Have you ever wanted to have a job where EVERYONE was happy to see you? Have you ever dreamed of being so famous that everyone wants your picture and EVERYONE loves you? Well here’s the job you want. Be the Wienermobile driver.
We tooled around in style on the Wienermobile and people would stop, point, smile, wave, and snap pictures or shoot video. I bet Paris Hilton doesn’t even get this much love.
Oh I didn’t want our ride to end. I wanted to drive around more. I wanted him to beep the horn again so I can hear the Oscar Mayer song again. But all good things must come to an end and that’s the same as the wienermobile.
I was given a cool T-shirt saying I tweeted on the Wienermobile and I received three whistles one for each of the little ones. I was so happy. I told our driver about the stuffed Oscar Meyer hot dog I won a few years back. When we moved it got shoved in one of the boxes but oh how I love that thing. Amazingly enough the dogs didn’t want anything to do with it so it became one of my favorite toys. Kind of like the chubby kid in that bank commercial. When I’d have some downtime I’d take it out of my drawer and “drive” it around the desk. It was always good for a laugh but I guess you would have had to have been there.
I also remember trying to win a trip in the Wienermobile a few years back. You had to submit a 100 word essay that described how you would use the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile for a day. Twenty people won this great prize but I wasn't one of them.
I wrote about giving out hot dogs in a local low income area that our school services. I believe that one woman who won said she gave out free books. I was so jealous that she got to ride around in the Wienermobile. Now I can say I have too. Who would have thunk it? I always say “Only in Sweeping” but now I say “only in blogging baby.”
Hey Oscar Mayer. If you ever want to drive that great Wienermobile by Rome High School I’d love to have you stop by and talk to my students about promotion and branding!!!!!
The Nikon I Never Knew You Party
Apparently I am not A Big Shot. Not that this is news to me but some of the things that happened at BlogHer I was not party to nor even aware of until the last night and some things not until I was safe at home in Georgia.
One of these events would be the Nikon Party. I can only speak from a “friend of a friend hear that….” Perspective so let’s gossip over the fence a spell.
It is my understanding that Nikon decided to throw an "invitation only" party at nightclub in Chicago for certain bloggers. Just like with the Suave party I’m sure they selected women whom they felt would write about their products and the party. Instead of a trolley, Nikon even provided limo service. Nikon even went out and rented out a trendy nightclub for this private event in an effort to host something upscale and cool. How’s that for VIP service?
Here’s where it gets ugly. Some Mommy Bloggers attempted to attend the event with their children and were turned away. This turned out to be a huge mess and the Mommy Bloggers got on Twitter and fired back with horrible comments about Nikon.
Keep in mind what I’m about to say is all armchair quarterbacking but as my students often say, “It’s a free country and I have a right to say whatever I want.” Then again people are free to lambaste me for doing just that.
I put myself through college working two jobs. One of those jobs was as a cocktail waitress. For four years I pranced around in a white blouse and either a little black skirt, little black shorts, or a pair of tight black jeans. I breathed in so much cigarette smoke it is a wonder that my lungs aren’t already in the final stages of cancer. When I would arrive home from work my hair and my clothes reeked so badly from the smell that one would have thought that I used in a pure tobacco shower. While I have no clue if Chicago has now adopted the no smoking restrictions for bars that alone would keep my kids out of any bar when they were babies.
I worked in the same bar for four years. In a way it was great training for being a teacher and for the subject I teach. Being a cocktail waitress forces you to speak to others and teaches you to deal with people that you might not always choose to deal with. There is very little difference between a defiant teen in the middle of a melt-down and a drunk patron demanding one more drink. You have to learn that you don’t need to respond to every remark and that with time one will hopefully grow up and the other will hopefully sober up.
I learned a lot about the laws regarding operating a bar in Virginia and in Maryland. For example, I’m certain the guy who owned our bar would have loved to sell you one for the road. We didn’t have an on/off license so alcohol could only be sold and consumed on premises. I learned about state liquor boards and inspections and so much more.
In Maryland, children were not allowed to be in the bar for ANY reason when the bar was open for business. So if I wanted to stop by to pick up my paycheck on Friday early in the day I could bring my kids in with me and they could even sit at the table and have a soda. Once we began setting up the bar for the day though, about 4 pm or so, NO children were allowed in for even a second. The reason for this had to with the fact that my boss could have lost his license and the bar closed down if a state trooper or someone from the State Liquor Board decided to drop by for an unannounced visit.
So some people were upset because they couldn’t bring their kids into a bar. Some people were upset because it was an invitation only event. When I first signed up for the Social Luxe Lounge I felt like I was part of the “IT” crowd. I remember feeling crestfallen when I learned that they were opening it up to everyone. Then we were promised that WE, the original attendees, were going to get something special but that almost didn’t happen for me. That’s why I wasn’t really upset that even though my name didn’t appear on a list I did RSVP. Things seemed to be fluid and the rules were always changing. So if some people thought that “EXCLUSIVE” meant “EVERYONE” could go if they were a blogger I could almost see their point.
As a teacher I understood that if you allowed one student to do something you’d better expect that all the other kids and their parents would be up in arms and demanding to know why THEY couldn’t do it too. BlogHer, parties and events seemed to meld into one big thing with no parameters so that people mistakenly thought that they very fact that they had paid to go to BlogHer ensured that they could go to any and all parties and activities even if they were actually private events and only associated with BlogHer in an ancillary way.
I heard that it was all down hill from there anyway. Some Moms twittered things suggesting that Nikon HATES babies. I don’t believe that Nikon hates babies. Perhaps they could have chosen a different location. Could they have opened it to all the registered BlogHer bloggers? Perhaps. Maybe they could have scaled it back so as to be able to open it to everyone in attendance. Personally I understand what they were trying to do and I think Nikon was on the right track. Everyone wants to feel special. I know I love to feel special. My students love to feel special.
If I give a student a Snickers Bar for doing a good job he will see himself as special and so will his peers. If everyone gets a Snickers Bar for no particular reason it's just not quite as special.
The end result is that not that NIKON will forever be branded as a baby-hating company? Maybe by the bloggers denied access but not by the general public. As I have to remind myself after a mistake or bad experience, “This too shall pass.”
From what I heard the women in attendance loved the party. Heck I wish Nikon would contact me because I want to send a little love their way. How about sponsoring me at the blogalicious? Hint hint. I live in Atlanta so I just need someone to pay for my ticket.
So what else did I hear about the party I didn’t go to? Well I heard that the two women felt that their tweets were taken out of context. Still I don’t find anything really funny about this. It borders on Junior High behavior. “So and so said such and such so you know what I’m going to say about such and such.” I understand disappointment. I’ve been on the receiving end before but why revert to such childishness? How can you not feel that saying that a company hates babies is a bit over the top? I’m still twitter illiterate but must you place a hashtag for drama emphasis?
I read her response and apparently she feels people are criticizing her parenting. As a Mom who has now graduated to the Grandma part of the spectrum let me say, “Welcome to parenthood.” Everyone is judging you. If your kid cries on a plane “People are rolling their eyes and even telling you to shut your kid up.” If your kid winds up on drugs, guess who’s fault they will say it is. Relatives will judge, dissect and discuss your parenting skills as well as friends, relatives, coworkers, and strangers. Pull up on your big girl pants and get over yourself.
When I was raising my kids I knew people who felt is was “creepy” that I nursed my infant. It doesn’t matter what other people think. If you spank your children people will brand you as a child abuser even if it was once and it was a single swat on a diapered behind. If you don't spank your kids then when they grow up to be a terrorist it is all your fault because you were too permissive with your child. It took me fifty years to finally “GET IT” but it really doesn’t matter. People are always judging you. Heck you judged Nikon without even taking a look at the facts.
Heck I feel like getting on twitter with the hashtag "NikonLOVESTeachers". Do you think they'd invite me to their next party? Do you think they would sponsor my next trip to blogher? Do you think that they would send me some of their awsome products to review? Then let the hashtags begin.
One of these events would be the Nikon Party. I can only speak from a “friend of a friend hear that….” Perspective so let’s gossip over the fence a spell.
It is my understanding that Nikon decided to throw an "invitation only" party at nightclub in Chicago for certain bloggers. Just like with the Suave party I’m sure they selected women whom they felt would write about their products and the party. Instead of a trolley, Nikon even provided limo service. Nikon even went out and rented out a trendy nightclub for this private event in an effort to host something upscale and cool. How’s that for VIP service?
Here’s where it gets ugly. Some Mommy Bloggers attempted to attend the event with their children and were turned away. This turned out to be a huge mess and the Mommy Bloggers got on Twitter and fired back with horrible comments about Nikon.
Keep in mind what I’m about to say is all armchair quarterbacking but as my students often say, “It’s a free country and I have a right to say whatever I want.” Then again people are free to lambaste me for doing just that.
I put myself through college working two jobs. One of those jobs was as a cocktail waitress. For four years I pranced around in a white blouse and either a little black skirt, little black shorts, or a pair of tight black jeans. I breathed in so much cigarette smoke it is a wonder that my lungs aren’t already in the final stages of cancer. When I would arrive home from work my hair and my clothes reeked so badly from the smell that one would have thought that I used in a pure tobacco shower. While I have no clue if Chicago has now adopted the no smoking restrictions for bars that alone would keep my kids out of any bar when they were babies.
I worked in the same bar for four years. In a way it was great training for being a teacher and for the subject I teach. Being a cocktail waitress forces you to speak to others and teaches you to deal with people that you might not always choose to deal with. There is very little difference between a defiant teen in the middle of a melt-down and a drunk patron demanding one more drink. You have to learn that you don’t need to respond to every remark and that with time one will hopefully grow up and the other will hopefully sober up.
I learned a lot about the laws regarding operating a bar in Virginia and in Maryland. For example, I’m certain the guy who owned our bar would have loved to sell you one for the road. We didn’t have an on/off license so alcohol could only be sold and consumed on premises. I learned about state liquor boards and inspections and so much more.
In Maryland, children were not allowed to be in the bar for ANY reason when the bar was open for business. So if I wanted to stop by to pick up my paycheck on Friday early in the day I could bring my kids in with me and they could even sit at the table and have a soda. Once we began setting up the bar for the day though, about 4 pm or so, NO children were allowed in for even a second. The reason for this had to with the fact that my boss could have lost his license and the bar closed down if a state trooper or someone from the State Liquor Board decided to drop by for an unannounced visit.
So some people were upset because they couldn’t bring their kids into a bar. Some people were upset because it was an invitation only event. When I first signed up for the Social Luxe Lounge I felt like I was part of the “IT” crowd. I remember feeling crestfallen when I learned that they were opening it up to everyone. Then we were promised that WE, the original attendees, were going to get something special but that almost didn’t happen for me. That’s why I wasn’t really upset that even though my name didn’t appear on a list I did RSVP. Things seemed to be fluid and the rules were always changing. So if some people thought that “EXCLUSIVE” meant “EVERYONE” could go if they were a blogger I could almost see their point.
As a teacher I understood that if you allowed one student to do something you’d better expect that all the other kids and their parents would be up in arms and demanding to know why THEY couldn’t do it too. BlogHer, parties and events seemed to meld into one big thing with no parameters so that people mistakenly thought that they very fact that they had paid to go to BlogHer ensured that they could go to any and all parties and activities even if they were actually private events and only associated with BlogHer in an ancillary way.
I heard that it was all down hill from there anyway. Some Moms twittered things suggesting that Nikon HATES babies. I don’t believe that Nikon hates babies. Perhaps they could have chosen a different location. Could they have opened it to all the registered BlogHer bloggers? Perhaps. Maybe they could have scaled it back so as to be able to open it to everyone in attendance. Personally I understand what they were trying to do and I think Nikon was on the right track. Everyone wants to feel special. I know I love to feel special. My students love to feel special.
If I give a student a Snickers Bar for doing a good job he will see himself as special and so will his peers. If everyone gets a Snickers Bar for no particular reason it's just not quite as special.
The end result is that not that NIKON will forever be branded as a baby-hating company? Maybe by the bloggers denied access but not by the general public. As I have to remind myself after a mistake or bad experience, “This too shall pass.”
From what I heard the women in attendance loved the party. Heck I wish Nikon would contact me because I want to send a little love their way. How about sponsoring me at the blogalicious? Hint hint. I live in Atlanta so I just need someone to pay for my ticket.
So what else did I hear about the party I didn’t go to? Well I heard that the two women felt that their tweets were taken out of context. Still I don’t find anything really funny about this. It borders on Junior High behavior. “So and so said such and such so you know what I’m going to say about such and such.” I understand disappointment. I’ve been on the receiving end before but why revert to such childishness? How can you not feel that saying that a company hates babies is a bit over the top? I’m still twitter illiterate but must you place a hashtag for drama emphasis?
I read her response and apparently she feels people are criticizing her parenting. As a Mom who has now graduated to the Grandma part of the spectrum let me say, “Welcome to parenthood.” Everyone is judging you. If your kid cries on a plane “People are rolling their eyes and even telling you to shut your kid up.” If your kid winds up on drugs, guess who’s fault they will say it is. Relatives will judge, dissect and discuss your parenting skills as well as friends, relatives, coworkers, and strangers. Pull up on your big girl pants and get over yourself.
When I was raising my kids I knew people who felt is was “creepy” that I nursed my infant. It doesn’t matter what other people think. If you spank your children people will brand you as a child abuser even if it was once and it was a single swat on a diapered behind. If you don't spank your kids then when they grow up to be a terrorist it is all your fault because you were too permissive with your child. It took me fifty years to finally “GET IT” but it really doesn’t matter. People are always judging you. Heck you judged Nikon without even taking a look at the facts.
Heck I feel like getting on twitter with the hashtag "NikonLOVESTeachers". Do you think they'd invite me to their next party? Do you think they would sponsor my next trip to blogher? Do you think that they would send me some of their awsome products to review? Then let the hashtags begin.
Excuse Me, What Party Is This?
I haded over to the MamaPopRocks Party at the Sheraton which was held at the Chicago Michigan A&B
This party was done on a smaller scale and when I first arrived I was probably one of about ten people. My experience with Pop Rocks is limited because they came on the market when I was a “Grown-up.” I still remember the rumors that Mikey of Life Cereal fame died when eating Pop-rocks. This was pre-Snopes days so the rumor had legs and added an air of danger to this popping candy. The other crazy rumor involved eating Pop Rocks and drinking carbonated soda would cause you to explode. Again an interesting rumor but it had no basis in fact. I truly wonder how many pre-teen boys consumed this candy with their favorite soda so they could brag to their friends how they were able to cheat death by doing so.
I hadn’t seen the candy in years to I grabbed several packs with the intent of sending them to my sons. I figured they would get a kick out of it.
Once upon a time friends might say I was a “light weight” now I just don’t care. I hate the praying to the porcelain god and who was I trying to impress with my drinking skills anyway. I decided to make my last drink of the night a vodka and tonic and I wound up carrying it around trying to seem more cosmopolitan than I really was.
You’ll have to excuse me because it was either the alcohol or the time schedule or a combination of both causes me to confuse the Mamapoprocks party and the Mommy needs a cocktail party. I walked back and forth between the two of them. I do know that there were chocolate fountains and martinis at the Momy Needs A Cocktail Party. I do not remember any swag but I do remember them saying that there would be some first come first served. I believe though that this particular party had a long line and they were checking names at the door. It appears mine was not on the list but that was just fine too because about forty-five minutes later I was in the door.
Then again it could have been the other way around. I could have sworn I had RSVPed but then it seemed I RSVPed almost every party. Still one or two of the parties did not show me on the list and with so many other opportunities to dance the night away I let it slide. Let’s face it in the real world “I’m not an A lister anyway.”
I did have such a great time. I kept going back and forth between the two rooms and as they say "All's Well That Ends Well."
I also did not attend the type-a momfluence party but perhaps I should have. I hear that 100 people received an HP Swag Bag. Had I known I probably would have camped out at the door to be the first one in. I understand the line was very large.
At this point one might think I’m there just for there at Blogher for the swag. Actually I had no clue at all about the scope of what we might receive. I think I was thinking key chains, tee shirts, and mousepads. I did not imagine in a million years that someone would just hand me a Microsoft Office Small Business Version or a Kodak HD Video Camera. I am the type of person who is thrilled when I wind up with a bag of twenty pencils after going to a trade show because my students can use them. I’m overjoyed when I walk away with a couple of branded pens because I can use them in my classroom.
I am not a person who walks around expecting people to throw coinage or rose petals at my feet. If I receive a sample in the mail I am overjoyed the rest of the day. I just love the cute little bottles or boxes in which samples are packaged. I’m the kind of person who can’t thank the DJ enough if they give me a T-shirt with the Radio insignia on it. The swag was not the icing on the cake it was the cherry and whipped cream on the cake. It was that added bit of flourish that said, “You are important to us and we realize it.” For someone who spent a great deal of her life wanting to be important to someone this was all very heady stuff. I will come back to this thought more than once as I talk about what happened here at BlogHer
This party was done on a smaller scale and when I first arrived I was probably one of about ten people. My experience with Pop Rocks is limited because they came on the market when I was a “Grown-up.” I still remember the rumors that Mikey of Life Cereal fame died when eating Pop-rocks. This was pre-Snopes days so the rumor had legs and added an air of danger to this popping candy. The other crazy rumor involved eating Pop Rocks and drinking carbonated soda would cause you to explode. Again an interesting rumor but it had no basis in fact. I truly wonder how many pre-teen boys consumed this candy with their favorite soda so they could brag to their friends how they were able to cheat death by doing so.
I hadn’t seen the candy in years to I grabbed several packs with the intent of sending them to my sons. I figured they would get a kick out of it.
Once upon a time friends might say I was a “light weight” now I just don’t care. I hate the praying to the porcelain god and who was I trying to impress with my drinking skills anyway. I decided to make my last drink of the night a vodka and tonic and I wound up carrying it around trying to seem more cosmopolitan than I really was.
You’ll have to excuse me because it was either the alcohol or the time schedule or a combination of both causes me to confuse the Mamapoprocks party and the Mommy needs a cocktail party. I walked back and forth between the two of them. I do know that there were chocolate fountains and martinis at the Momy Needs A Cocktail Party. I do not remember any swag but I do remember them saying that there would be some first come first served. I believe though that this particular party had a long line and they were checking names at the door. It appears mine was not on the list but that was just fine too because about forty-five minutes later I was in the door.
Then again it could have been the other way around. I could have sworn I had RSVPed but then it seemed I RSVPed almost every party. Still one or two of the parties did not show me on the list and with so many other opportunities to dance the night away I let it slide. Let’s face it in the real world “I’m not an A lister anyway.”
I did have such a great time. I kept going back and forth between the two rooms and as they say "All's Well That Ends Well."
I also did not attend the type-a momfluence party but perhaps I should have. I hear that 100 people received an HP Swag Bag. Had I known I probably would have camped out at the door to be the first one in. I understand the line was very large.
At this point one might think I’m there just for there at Blogher for the swag. Actually I had no clue at all about the scope of what we might receive. I think I was thinking key chains, tee shirts, and mousepads. I did not imagine in a million years that someone would just hand me a Microsoft Office Small Business Version or a Kodak HD Video Camera. I am the type of person who is thrilled when I wind up with a bag of twenty pencils after going to a trade show because my students can use them. I’m overjoyed when I walk away with a couple of branded pens because I can use them in my classroom.
I am not a person who walks around expecting people to throw coinage or rose petals at my feet. If I receive a sample in the mail I am overjoyed the rest of the day. I just love the cute little bottles or boxes in which samples are packaged. I’m the kind of person who can’t thank the DJ enough if they give me a T-shirt with the Radio insignia on it. The swag was not the icing on the cake it was the cherry and whipped cream on the cake. It was that added bit of flourish that said, “You are important to us and we realize it.” For someone who spent a great deal of her life wanting to be important to someone this was all very heady stuff. I will come back to this thought more than once as I talk about what happened here at BlogHer
Am I That Dependent?
Could it be that being with one person for over a decade makes one dependent? Dependent on their approval, dependent on their judgment, dependent on their mere presence? Does missing my husband and wishing he was with me violate all the feminist propaganda that I was taught when I was young? Is strength trumped by the desire to have someone with you? Can I point to those seventeen years that I raised two sons on my own as proof I “don’t need anyone” because I can “do it all myself?” Does the yearning to spend time with my husband mean that that was all a sham and prove I’m really desperate and clingy?
I don’t want to say that I was having home sickness or that I was incapable of being alone but it had been so long ago and far away that I had been able to call all the shots without finding out how everyone else feels about things. That feeling I used to have when I was single and wished that I had someone to share an experience with was being revisited.
After leaving the EA Summer in the City Party I was walking the famous Michigan Avenue Bridge and yapping on my cell phone to my husband telling him how much I missed him and loved him and wished he were there. On one hand the freedom was a bit intoxicating but on the other hand I wanted to feel his hand in mind as I walked back to the hotel. Just a little over a year ago the two of us had stayed at the House of Blues. We’d had such a great time exploring Chicago. I had just finished reading Upton Sinclair’s book the Jungle before we’d gone and before that I’d read the Devil in the White City. Neither one of us imagined we’d ever come back to Chicago but there we were and now I might still be a stranger it’s no longer a strange land.
My next stop was supposed to be at the Queerosphere at the Crimson Lounge. They were going to be giving away a sweet cruise. That wasn’t the only reason I was going to go though. I wanted to say that I did something different. Remember going to this conference was about stepping out of my comfort zone. I was going to go places I've never been before. I can honestly say I'd never been to a gay bar. I was going to meet people from many different backgrounds and try to make new friends.
I whispered in the phone that I had to just drop my EA bag off and head on over to Hotel Sax. I never made it. I was too frightened to walk that far in the dark and the drizzle in a city I was not familiar with. Just two days earlier I had heard a news story about someone who was stabbed just a block or two from a downtown area with lots of trendy restaurants. If only I had someone to walk with I wouldn’t have been so nervous. I turned around after a couple of blocks and headed back to the Sheraton.
It's too bad I didn't get to go. If only it had been held at the hotel I definitely would have stopped by.
I don’t want to say that I was having home sickness or that I was incapable of being alone but it had been so long ago and far away that I had been able to call all the shots without finding out how everyone else feels about things. That feeling I used to have when I was single and wished that I had someone to share an experience with was being revisited.
After leaving the EA Summer in the City Party I was walking the famous Michigan Avenue Bridge and yapping on my cell phone to my husband telling him how much I missed him and loved him and wished he were there. On one hand the freedom was a bit intoxicating but on the other hand I wanted to feel his hand in mind as I walked back to the hotel. Just a little over a year ago the two of us had stayed at the House of Blues. We’d had such a great time exploring Chicago. I had just finished reading Upton Sinclair’s book the Jungle before we’d gone and before that I’d read the Devil in the White City. Neither one of us imagined we’d ever come back to Chicago but there we were and now I might still be a stranger it’s no longer a strange land.
My next stop was supposed to be at the Queerosphere at the Crimson Lounge. They were going to be giving away a sweet cruise. That wasn’t the only reason I was going to go though. I wanted to say that I did something different. Remember going to this conference was about stepping out of my comfort zone. I was going to go places I've never been before. I can honestly say I'd never been to a gay bar. I was going to meet people from many different backgrounds and try to make new friends.
I whispered in the phone that I had to just drop my EA bag off and head on over to Hotel Sax. I never made it. I was too frightened to walk that far in the dark and the drizzle in a city I was not familiar with. Just two days earlier I had heard a news story about someone who was stabbed just a block or two from a downtown area with lots of trendy restaurants. If only I had someone to walk with I wouldn’t have been so nervous. I turned around after a couple of blocks and headed back to the Sheraton.
It's too bad I didn't get to go. If only it had been held at the hotel I definitely would have stopped by.
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