CheeseburgHer, CheeseburgHer, CheeseburgHer

I know I’ve said this before but I signed up for almost every party out there. For some I had certain expectations or perceptions and for others I had not one single clue. The CheezeburgHerParty describes itself as a group of blogger friends who decided to throw an impromptu hotel party involving cheeseburgers, bags on heads and fun at BlogHer in 2007, and a tradition was born. Now this party sounded like fun.

It seemed that I was already starting to get into the teacher, sleep mode of ready for bed by ten but I didn’t want to miss this party. I at least wanted to make an appearance. I’m so glad I did.

The party took place in the 2500-square-foot Presidential SuiteThe Suite which had a wonderful view. The large table was laden with McDonalds Cheeseburgers, Hamburgers, and French Fries. All the while a waiter was running around offering you more fries and burgers with cheese or sans cheese. What’s to drink? Wine of course, oh and Snapple, and Dr. Pepper too.

I donned my party hat and began to take some video. The hat actually reminded me of something I might have done as a child. Unlike other little boys and girls who had birthday parties with hats and noisemakers. We were poor and I wished I could have had one of those funny little hats. Back then I did my best to make hats from shopping bags with the help of scissors, tape, and crayons. None of my brothers or sisters co-operated.

Here I was walking around with a McDonald’s hat on my head and the word “Thriftymaven.com” written on it. OK so I’m not all that imaginative. I was overwhelmed by the number of women that were able to cram themselves into a room but as the room began to fill I began to feel uncomfortable. I’m just so claustrophobic.

I left before the party got really loud which is probably a good thing because it seems security was called and just before the bachelor party crashed the party. I did hear that it was so noisy that nearby guests were complaining. Who knew that bagheads were so cool?

No wonder McDonalds is still my kind of place!

BOWLHER One of My Hands Down Favorite Events At BlogHer

Can a girl admit she’s WRONG? I was wrong. Wrong with a capital W. When I was busy signing up for parties I decided not to sign up for BowlHer.

I do not bowl. Rather I have tried to bowl and as of yet I’ve not quite got a handle on why no points are awarded for consistent getting the ball to head straight for the gutter on the right hand side of the lane. I even have a patented move which involves me getting in the squat position with my legs open wide and rolling the ball down the lane. Even the shoes are ugly. I just couldn’t imagine myself enjoying a party at a bowling alley. Did I mention I was WRONG?

My original plan was to go to the BlogHer cocktail party then head on over to the Shutter Sisters Pajama Party and end the evening at the Cheezeburgher Party. My quick exit from the Shutter Sisters Party left a big gaping hole in my social activities. The BlogHer cocktail party turned out to be a wonderful formal send off for the weekend. They had an open bar and some nice horderves. The butlers in their formal outfits made sure that you were well taken care of. They had shrimp pot stickers, lamb chop, coconut chicken, stuffed mushrooms, and mini-beef Wellington.

BlogHer is formally over but it's not time to say goodbye. It's time to say good-bye to my fairy tale life at BlogHer. The clock it heading towards midnight but I hope I don't leave my glass slipper behind.

I decided to make a quick trip over to the BowlHer event and I discovered they had a list and were checking it twice. No problem. I admitted straight up that I had failed to register for the party. She looked down and said, “No problem. Come on in.” I was then handed a PINK feather boa and a crown.

This was another moment I would have just run out skipping and jumping for joy because I got a pink boa and I was so special I got a crown. Pink is my FAVORITE color so my happiness level is already flying at full-staff.

As we ascended the escalator to the second floor you could see people looking at us. Not in a weird crazy bag lady that one might do if you were the only one with a tiara and a feather boa. No this was more like a “Why can’t I have a feather boa and a crown?”

I heard a woman who was walking up the stairs ask one of the pink boa ladies “What’s with the crowns?” “We’re bloggers” she answered. Did she understand I wondered?

At the top of the stairs you noticed that it was decked out to be a big media type event that began with a walk on the red carpet. It appears that they were promoting Lifetime TV Channel and Project Runway. Someone came by with a camera just as I getting online and asked if we loved Project Runway. The squat, chunky young woman behind me chimed in “I’m simply addicted to that show. I just love, love, love it.” You might as well have been asking me if I loved chocolate.

Now’s the time I said to myself. I turned to the woman who had just come to life on cue and said, “I just love your boa. You have great taste.” She looked down at her boa and said, “Oh you too. I like yours too.”

I can’t let it drop here. I have to say something. Usually this is where I fall flat. I did the open now I need to keep the ball in the air.

“You know, originally I wasn’t going to come to this party. I’d signed up for almost every party that you could but I am such a crummy bowler I thought I’d be a fish out of water.”

Not the best come back line but it does open her to state that she’s either a very good bowler, a mediocre bowler, or a bowler more in line with me and perhaps a corpse. Even if she didn’t want to share that she could maybe comment on how she’d been to some party or all of the parties or how much she had been looking forward to this party. I’m hanging and hoping that she will respond.

I decide to make one last attempt at conversation. “I spoke to one of the people who is working with this event and she mentioned that it would be awful for me to miss out on all the great swag. She had even mentioned something about a zebra bowling bag. Isn’t that funny?”

I didn’t realize that I was waving a red cape before a bull. Her eyes narrowed and she said, “I hate all this commercialism. I hate how people are making it all about the swag. It’s not all about the swag. Blogging is about the art. It is about your ability to tell a story. It is not and should not be a commercial venture.”

Ah, OK. I decided to change the subject. “What do you blog about?” “I’m a Mommy Blogger. I blog for a news paper insert the name of a small Midwestern city, and I paid for this trip myself. Unlike some of the other people here who have sold their souls for the all-mighty dollar, I paid for this myself. I don’t let corporate America influence what I am saying. Every day I’m sharing deep and personal thoughts and feelings with people and even though I don’t have a lot of readers I’m beginning to see an upswing in my readership.”

Perhaps because I won a trip to Kraft Food I was a little put off by her statement. I sold my soul to Kraft Food? How is that exactly? Then in the very next thought I blurted out “Do you get paid to blog?” She told me she did but not as much as the sports blogger. He has more people following his blog. While I didn’t say it aloud was that being on a newspaper was also a sponsored blog. My blog is not sponsored but my trip was and I was a bit put off by her self-righteousness.

The woman behind her was also a mommy blogger for a newspaper so they began talking about how sports bloggers always have more readers. Then I heard the woman brag about how she didn’t even ask the newspaper to pay her expenses because that way she could be honest about her opinions of BlogHer. I suppose that was supposed to mean that she was above it all but no one had asked me to say ANYTHING.

I listened as she droned on about how she about her personal and innermost thoughts on her mommy blog. So essentially she sacrifices her family’s privacy for a paycheck. Is that selling out I wanted to ask her. I mean if it’s really all about the craft of writing like was saying then why not do it for FREE? Then I heard her talk about how some companies provide her with things to review but she lets them know that she will write what she truly feels about something and not be a corporate shill.

Again, why not say, my family’s story is not for sale? If swag and ANYONE who takes it is really unscrupulous like you say, then why are you standing in line in a boa and a tiara waiting to go to a party sponsored by a television show? Why not be working on your craft at home away from all this commercialism? Why must you expound upon how much better you are than others?

I believe some women who blog are all about the craft of writing. They are so good at what they do that the fame comes to them. They don’t generally lecture people about hypocritical loss leaders. They don’t have to say they are better than others because their barometer of success does not require putting others down to raise themselves up. I am certainly not at that level.

I was almost trying to turn off her diatribe against other bloggers, against the swag, and then I heard her say something about the stealing of swag. Swag stealing? I knew nothing about that? Pushing? Elbowing babies? A bruise in the shape of a hand? What in the heck was I dealing with? I had gone from rolling my eyes to wondering what the hell was wrong with people.

The line began to move. I watched as women began walking the red carpet, sometimes by themselves and sometimes in groups. They stopped for photos and I tried to get back in a festive party mood but I was mulling over all that I had just heard. I walked down the red carpet, took my photos and entered the bowling alley.

This was a bowling alley like I had never known before. It was HUGE with a bar, pool tables, and glow in the dark pins. I was stopped by one woman who asked if I wanted to send a video message to someone special. I said sure and I told them my husband. They wanted to know why he was the greatest man alive. I had exactly two minutes to think about what I was going to say and then it was lights, camera, action.

Then I walked to the back of the bar. For people like me this was a great place to observe and make a decision as to what I was going to do. I walked up to a table and there were women who were dealing with children with autism. We talked for about ten minutes. I told them about my nephew and about some former students and they told me about their organization. It was this conversation that brought me back to my own reality.

I went into teaching to make a difference. I look over the years and remember the families and former students who thanked me for the things I have done. Why in the world did I let that girl in line ruffle my feathers for even a moment? If being a blogger makes her feel as though she’s changing the world then let her have that. I didn’t care. I think what I did care about what her decision that others weren’t making the same contributions that she was. I knew that in less than 24 hours I would be going back to my little world and then shortly thereafter I’d be starting back to school.

I came out of the shadows of the back of the bowling alley and began to walk around. I tried to play pool. I sampled some products. I handed out some business cards. I had a great time and then I left because I didn’t want to miss the Cheezeburgher Party.

It’s funny that this was the one party that I thought I wouldn’t enjoy but turned out to be one I enjoyed a great deal.

South Of The Border Lunch At BlogHer

Lunch today was brought to us by the letter M for Mexican. Once again they offered me way too much food and once again it took everything inside me to try to keep from loading up on the food.

Why is it that I normally eat reasonable sized servings but throw me in a buffet line and I’m acting like I’m in the meal line on the Titanic and this is my last meal. I just want to throw food onto my plate almost in an attempt to reassure myself that I won’t be hungry later.

There were tamales, chicken fajita,refried beans, salad, and although it was difficult I even tried a bite of the tasty desserts like Tres Leches and Churros. Since I’m still trying to stay away from drinking so much caffeine I wish they had had some caffeine free diet Pepsi to drink. Then again, I might have been the only one there drinking it so I suppose that is selfish of me.

Once again this meal was supposed to be Birds of a Feather but I was a bird without a flock. Stick me in a big room with food and tables and I’m a mouse in a maze. I head for one of the tables and once again I’m joined by some other bloggers.

I ask each one their name and each one about their blog but no one asks for my name or the name of my blog. Are we all so lost in the tech world that we forget that conversation goes two ways? Am I expecting too much? I listen as they tell me about their blog, the opinion about BlogHer and I wonder if I should interject something like, “Oh and by the way, I’m the ThriftyMaven but you can just call me Cathy.”

After spending the day inside I was anxious get some fresh air. I hoped to be back in time to hear the Sponsored v. Unsponsored – Blogging for $$ Where Do You Stand? With that in mind I was off for a walk along the river in the bright sun shine.

The Microsoft Spa – Ah

The Microsoft Spa – Ah

I have been teaching Microsoft Office for the last seventeen years. I am even Microsoft Office Certified which means I took a test as to my competency and I passed it with flying colors. So when I first noticed the word Microsoft my head turned. Maybe I could get some information about the new version of Microsoft Office which I haven’t learned but I know I must teach soon. Then I noticed the word SPA. Who doesn’t love a spa? What do the two have in common I wanted to know.

Turns out that Microsoft had decided to pamper the bloggers of Blogher with professional makeovers, back rubs, and manicures. After a wonderful experience at the Suave counter I visited the Spa for a makeover.

I no sooner sat in the chair when a photographer came up. She took my name and my card and told me she was taking photos for some paper that included London in it’s name. I swear I couldn’t hear her even though I asked her twice. She took a series of photos as the makeup artist worked her magic.

While I sat in the chair, I had the overwhelming urge to say “I’m ready for my close-up Mr. DeMille.” Sadly I knew that my remark would fall flat as they have probably never watched the movie Sunset Boulevard. It was appropriate though. While I was never a movie star, in society I was hitting the age where many would consider me to be a has been. The bloom was not only off the rose and the bloom itself was just a memory.

When do we stop looking in the rearview mirror at the mistakes and missteps that we have made? Do people who say that they lived their life with no regrets truly have nothing they would have done differently? When I sing “My Way” with Frank Sinatra on the car radio am I really telling the truth? Isn’t it true that our way is often decided upon by factors like serendipity? Can’t I still wish I’d had a pony?

After I had my makeover I stopped over to talk to the lady who was in charge who wanted to know what I thought of my experience. I told her how much I enjoyed it and bragged about my certifications. I told her how much I enjoyed my time at the spa and what my opinions were about the new Windows Live. I like it except for the fact you can’t upload more than one photo at a time. Other than that I LOVE Photo Gallery and Movie Maker to edit and organize your photos and movies, and then post them online. You can blog, manage your calendar and I can see what's new with my friends all in one place. That's because you can add your favorite sites, like Facebook, Yelp, or Twitter to Windows Live, and your friends will get your updates in their “What’s New” feed. That means you don’t have to e-mail or IM all your friends to let them know what you’re up to.

What I love is that I have access to all the files I've uploaded no matter where I am AND my friends and family, and even co-workers can have access to the files I want to share with them and they



When we were finished she handed me one of my very favorite gifts of the weekend, a Microsoft Office Small Business version. I could have hugged her. It’s just what I needed for my laptop which I use for my school work.

I looked at my schedule to see what I missed. For a woman who only missed four classes during my whole college career I was feeling a bit embarrassed for having missed so many of the break-out sessions. Still I felt I was accomplishing some of what I hoped to accomplish. I was meeting people in the PR field and trying to get my name out there. I was also stretching my wings and trying new things. Now off to lunch I say.

The Shutter Sisters Pajama Party

I was so excited about this party. When I was growing up my mother NEVER let us go to a sleep over or have one at our house. For my mother, child molesters and mass murders lurked behind every door. Growing up I never sat up all night listening to ghost stories, talking about boys, or doing my nails while spreading gossip with other teenage girls.

Not too long ago I heard about adult women having slumber parties and they sounded fun. So much more to dish about and you don’t have to worry about your mom coming in to tell you to hush up and go to sleep. My problem is of course that I haven’t really made any close friends here in Georgia.

I have only myself to blame. I cannot always expect someone else to make the first move. It seems I have lots of acquaintances. They all like me but it just seems that I’m afraid to impose on their free time. I thought this might be a great opportunity to make new friends. I even bought a new nightgown with Tinkerbell all over it. Call me Kitschy.

When it came time to show up to the party I changed into my PJs and looked at myself in the mirror. What was I doing? Sure it said PJ party but at that moment I was more certain than ever that everyone would be wearing those Lounge Pants sets. I would stick out like a sore thumb. I changed back into the outfit I’d been wearing earlier and headed upstairs to the Shutter Sisters PJ Party.

They were friendly enough, even offered me wine but almost immediately I realized I was totally out of my element. These women were photographers. The talented kind. You know the kind of people who NEVER have photos that chop off the top of people’s heads or forget to leave the lens cover on. I felt much like I would have felt if I had walked into a room filled with artists of any media. I feel awed by their talent, so awed that I’m speechless. When I look around it seems like many of the people there know each other and I almost want to run for the door as embarrassed as if I’d walked into the wrong apartment.

I look at their work quietly and then I leave.

More Proof That I Am Not The Center Of The Universe

Actually I have never imagined myself to be the center of any universe except my own little world and even there the title might be up for discussion. While I signed up for almost every party I saw some parties did not have me on their guest list. Who could blame them though? I was not a mover or a shaker or for that matter the beautiful ingénue. I’m not even a gamer nor do I play one on TV.

Just like I had no clue whatsoever about the Nikon Party, which by the way had they invited me I’d have twittered #Nikonlovesteachers or #IheartNikon. Another party I knew absolutely nothing about was a private party sponsored by Nintendo. From what I understand, everyone who attended received a Nintendo DSi. Is that cool or what? I also heard that these lucky bloggers were taken by horse-drawn carriages up to the Hancock Tower. Once there they were whisked away to the Signature Room on the 95th floor of the Hancock Tower. There they enjoyed hors d’vours and wine. They were then seated and enjoyed a four-course dinner and an open bar.

Tell me the truth. Can you not see how being treated this way, like media superstars doesn’t go to a girl’s head? I guess I just didn’t understand the power of the blog. Oh sure I remember my English teacher telling me about the power of the pen but if this is any indication about the shift of marketing then I’m really further behind the curve than I realized.

Room of Your Own 2: Sponsored v. Unsponsored- Blogging for $$$

We're in the Erie room which is a little bit hard to find. It's tucked behind the state rooms on the second level. About 8 minutes until kick-off!

Speakers introduce themselves. "This might be the most controversial topic at BlogHer." Opened it up for audience questions.

Audience member: Why can't we all just get along?

(laughter)

GeekMommy- Well, first let's see a show of hands. How many of you think compensation has a place in blogging? How many of you think that compensation does not have a place in blogging?

Audience member- Amy- You'll find it ironic that I'm a marketer by day and a blogger by night, but I do not feel that there is no place for paid reviews and contests in blogging.

GeekMommy- Everybody has an opinion.

Amy- If you're putting a contest on your blog that is sponsored then you should announce that it's sponsored. Otherwise it's an ad and it's not fair to put it out there like it's your personal opnion.

Audience member - Janice 5minformom- I feel that it's obvious to my readers. It should be common sense. If I'm giving away a product then obviously I didn't go out and buy the product myself. I mean I love my readers but not that much.

(laughter)

(ushering in of late comers)

Haley - lovedbyfamilyandthensome.com - I don't have a large following but I have
had nasty comments over sponsorship. I always tell sponsors that I give my true opnion. I won't bash them but I will reply back and tell them that I cannot reveiw the product. I don't take pay but I take the free items.

GeekMommy- If they did, would you take it?

Haley- I wouldn't give a false opnion, I just wouldn't say anything. But I'm on the line about that because if someone pays me then I'd have to say something nice. But I feel like it wouldn't be true to my readers.

GeekMommy- I want to express my views before we get to far. I am a proponent of paying bloggers. And the reason I believe that it is okay is because I'm asking you to take time away from your families. As far as reviews go, if you only give positive reveiws, then no one has a reason to recruit you. I've written a post on how we don't have a webguide on how to run contests and giveaways. It's one thing to write passionately, but if you're writing on behalf of a company, then it's okay for them to buy your time.

Ann-Marie Nichols (AMN) - Some of the business people are slimy and you feel slimy for considering them. But there are people who review things online and get paid. If you don't think it's worth it then don't do it.

GeekMommy- to audience -Please don't feel like you can't exress your opnion.

Audience member - I've been blogging for 3 years, and I've never been offered a review. And the rest of the infertility group probably feels the same, because you know we don't have any money. But the thing I've been noticed is that in the news business, they don't follow any ethical guidelines. So why is the FTC going after us?
AMN- Because we're women and we're moms so we must be idiots.

AMN- And our readers must be idiots too. So they're "susceptible" to the marketing.

GeekMommy
- We're doing this. It's the 21st century. There's a certain level
where if you're under 25, you ignore the advertisements. You don't see
the flashy things. They've tracked the eye movements. Reviews are the
future of marketing. If a mommy tells me about a sponge that works, it
means far more to me than if a model holds it up on TV and says it's
fabulous. We are the future of marketing. We get to decide where we're
going with this.

Audience member- I recently agreed to review
something, I don't do it often, but they actually sent me the content
of what I was supposed to do. (gasps) And I said basically "F... you" I
don't understand this because I want to hear about what is good and bad.

AMN-
You hear about people getting sued. They can sue you over anything they
want. They might not win but it's a hassle and you spend money. Errance
policies are $5000 a year.

Audience member (Jennifer Tagger -thesmartmom)- Not always. I know about some insurance that's cheaper.

Resourceful Mother - Become an LLC and it will help protect your house and our money.

AMN - Talk to an attorney.

Recourceful
Mom- If you're a site that is reviewing products and you review
everything. If you're only looking for positive reveiws then there is
no reason for negative reviews. But I think it's important to put it
out there that not everything is for everyone. I always say at the
bottom that something might not be for a certain group.



GeekMommy- There's a difference between a recommendation and a review. Good point!

Audience
member- I wanted to address one thing that you said about how they're
picking on us because we're women and we're stupid. I think it
undercuts it.

AMN- I believe that.

Audience member- It's not true. The government is severly going after doctors, drug companies and device companies.

GeekyMommy- They're protecting the public when they can't help themselves.

Allie (Fussypants) - We don't have a lobby. We don't have well-paid attorneys to say, "back off the mommybloggers."
GeekyMommy- Can I please ask that no matter how you feel about this, please go and have your voice heard in the FTC debate.

Audience
member- The second part of my comment, was that I started my blog as a
writing excercise. I have reviewed things of my own volition and asked
if I want a thank you note from the company. I felt like I didn't know
what to say.

GeekMommy- You don't need to retract your opinion just because someone said thank you.

Allie (Fussyoants) - I know this isn't a political panel, but I'm very concerned about the FTC overreaching.

GeekMommy-
I should write about how to reach them. When it comes right down to
them, I really do believe that we're a government of the people and not
about the people.

Audience member- I think it's important to
offer feedback with constructive criticism in it. I would never even
think to write and all-positive review. I'm overwhelmed with how many
reviews out there are crap. And I think we should get paid for thorough
reviews.

Audience member- I think some people are just about
getting free stuff. I have no problem saying that "They gave this to
me." I'd write a normal post about it. I spoke with someone yesterday

and she was saying that you're not going to need to worry about all of
this. People are making a bigger deal than it is. Do you see that?

(general uproar)

GeekMommy-
The FTC is trying to decide if they think it's ethical for bloggers to
accept payment. We're ten years into blogging, but not 10 yrs into
dealing with companies.

Audience members- Adam- It's not so much
the concern for you, but it's the concern for the companies. They're
worried that the companies will stop sending out blanks.

GeekMommy- The lawyers hate social media.

Audience
member- For the bloggers that are scared to take stuff. I work with
traditional media and they get stuff all the time. I can guarantee that
magazines don't put all of the stuff out there. They pick the ones that
they have best contact with. Obviously we don't want negative reviews,
but it's a chance to see if people would like stuff better.

GeekMommy- Tell the company that they can interact in the comments with readers.

AMN- I'd like to see that too. They're scared to do that.

Audience
member- If mom bloggers are being targeted now, then who will be
targeted next? Am I going to be next? Should I start writing reviews.

GeekMommy- If someone sends you something unsolicited you are under no obligation to review it.

Audience
member- I can tell you that I've had reviews done about my company
since it started and I would never expect someone to review it for
nothing. I'm a review blogger also, and by the same token, I'm going to
accept the product. I'm not blogging for applesauce. I'm giving my own
opinion. I'll say "this worked" or "there are reasons why this might
not be for you." I'm expecting constructive criticism as well as the
general accolades.

GeekMommy- You're right. You don't have to
charge money. You need to be able to say that you wanted to review
them. You aren't betraying all womankind for doing a review with or
without pay.

AMN- And you have the right to change over time too.
I don't have as much time as I used to. And I'm burnt out on things I
did five years ago. It's a learning process.

Audience member - I think the real issue is that there are fees behind the contests and giveaways. Like for instance, we don't know how much 5minformom was given for the item.

Janice- 5minformom- I have a requested fee so that I can pay my staff. But it is requested, and if a company is too poor to pay it then we'll still do the giveaway. But because I have a staff to pay and we are offering a service to the company, then I give them the opportunity to pay.

GeekMommy- Don't ever feel pressured to do what someone else tells you to do with your blog. You can take a PR break. You know what's best for your blog.

Audience member- In the beginning days we were sent a lot of stuff that we didn't like. If we get something that we don't like then what should we do. If I start writing negative about Frigidair would Whirlpool look at me in five years and say, "We're never working with them again?"

Audience member- PR person- We look to engage moms because we want to know what you truly think. We want to know why you don't like it. In the long run, we're looking to understand better what you want.

Audience member- ok but telling you is one thing and putting it on the world wide web is another thing. Do you really want me to tell everybody?

Audience member- To be fair, you don't get black listed or not contacted. But if you keep saying that the product sucks over and over, then the company might send it to someone else.

GeekMommy- Constructive criticism is important.

Audience member - PR for Intel - We want to learn, and it's the new thing. I don't represent the whole corporate America. A lot of the worries expressed here about being sued and never being contacted again, you don't have to worry about this. Our policy is that we don't pay for reviews. It's important to us that you disclose to your readers that we sponsored you because we care about how people perceive the company.

GeekMommy- It bothers me that you say that your policy is not to pay bloggers.

Intel- I want to know how I can help you within the confines of our policies. The real issue is tansparency.

AMN- Next year, if everyone in this room says "We don't do unpaid reviews, how likely is Intel to change the policies?"

Intel - I think there needs to be room for change. Right now we don't pay the media.

Susan - One of the things, the companies are just figuiring this out as companies. Part of the problem is that PR is over there and Advertising is over here. The change needs to come there. I think there's room for all of these types of sponsorship because you have to keep your readers. Give the companies a break as they learn this whole new system.

GeekMommy- this conversation won't end when we walk out of the room.

audience member- journalist - what i can say is this. If you're accepting products, don't worry about that. It's very common for reviewers to accept products. Journalists might buy products for review or request them. I think the FTC thing is a sign of respect. They see you as a big voice and see how it could get shady. I think the overall intent is to say that you're an influential group. Draw the line at taking money for writing an ad.

GeekMommy - Having an opinion is important.

Audience member- Tiger Woods plays gold as a labor of love. But the Nike shirt he wears was not a product they gave him to take home. They paid for it.

Audience member - What about these women out there who couldn't afford to come to BlogHer? They might need that money to put food on the table. They might be happy to have the applesauce and diapers.

AMN- True. $100 can make a big difference in a week for some people.

GeekMommy- And unemployment is 10% at this time. Some people would be more than happy to receive what they can get.

Audience member- Back to the FTC thing. They don't have the capacity to police it all.

(general uproar)

Audience member- I mean that I'm concerned people will start attacking each other. It's a bit scary that people will start looking around and saying "You're not doing this right."



BlogHer Business '09 Presentations ›
Submitted by CityStreams (view blog) on Tue, 07/21/2009 - 2:28am
Posted In BlogHer '09 Live-Blogging
Comments (11)
Comments

Holy Misinformation. Wow.

I'm a little concerned about some of the misinformation about the FTC proposal that seems to be out there as a result of this panel, and the generally one-sided perspective on things which missed an opportunity to offer genuine guidance to bloggers seeking it.

But the thing I've been noticed is that in the news business, they
don't follow any ethical guidelines. So why is the FTC going after us?

AMN- Because we're women and we're moms so we must be idiots.

AMN- And our readers must be idiots too. So they're "susceptible" to the marketing.

First of all, journalists do in fact have guidelines and I find it a little odd to hear no one refute the accusation here. Recently one of the NYT columnists was forced to return his payment for a keynote speech to a corporation. Magazines keep editorial and advertising separate. And while bloggers don't have that luxury, surely we could put our heads together and try and figure out some ways to work this out.

Also, the FTC is not actually "after" moms or mommy bloggers or women in general. If you'll read the document (it's about 86 pages), you'll see the issue is deceptive marketing practices on the part of the marketers who are using blogs (among other things) to promote unsubstantiated claims, or to disseminate testimonials that sound like consumer reviews but are actually paid. That's where bloggers need to watch out.

That said, most of the document deals with things like weight loss claims and hair loss remedies and affiliate programs. Not free apple sauce.

Audience member- Tiger Woods plays gold as a labor of love. But the
Nike shirt he wears was not a product they gave him to take home. They
paid for it.

According to the FTC, celebrities are different because there is a general assumption (ie, no we're NOT stupid) that they were paid to do that TV spot. There is not an assumption that someone who googles a product and ends up at a mommy blog is equally on the payroll.

Here's the reality: Once you accept money from a marketer you are on the payroll and it seems reasonable that you are held accountable to the same standards as their ad agencies and production companies.

GeekMommy- It bothers me that you [Intel] say that your policy is not to pay bloggers.

Actually Intel has a wonderful reputation as supporting bloggers. They did a big conversational marketing program last year with the Federated Media authors, including my own site, and they're currently sponsoring the "Bucket List" posts at mightygirl.net

That is not at all the same as paying for reviews.

This isn't about whether moms have the right to make a living or not. Of course we do! But this discussion should be about whether it's okay to be dishonest (if not to outright deceptive) because you think it will get you a better refrigrerator down the road.

I'm sorry there was a missed opportunity to provide some common sense guidelines for those who wish to monetize their blogs.

It would be nice to hear discussions about disclosure policies, indemnity agreements with sponsors, and ways to maintain reader trust even as we all hope to make a living.



Mom-101


Cool Mom Picks.com


Submitted by Mom101 on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 09:30
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Misinformation is right, but not in the way
you think

Liz:

This is the first chance I've had to read this live-blog of the event - and sadly, it kind of points out the limitations of live-blogging.

It is *very* difficult to actually transcribe a live event accurately - so as a result, you get summaries, paraphrases, text without context (either emotional or verbal) and in general? Some misinformation.

I'm actually not a fan of live-blogging for those very reasons. You're judging our session based on a second-hand report transcribed by someone else, but you weren't there to actually witness the event.

Just reading over this, I find a few errors that substantially change the meaning of what was said. To whit: above it says "I've written a post on how we don't have a webguide on how to run contests and giveaways." What I actually said (and wrote about) was "I've written a post on how we don't have a web guy to run our contests and giveaways for us." -- those are two very different concepts.

There was much discussion on how journalists from larger publications do adhere to a strict ethical code, but that a) from one audience member's experience as a former journalist for smaller, less recognized publications, those ethics were seldom enforced, and b) that in certain circles (the example that sticks out was Beauty & Fashion magazines) it is in fact common practice to accept items "for review" that show up time and again in the "suggested for Season X" sections of the magazine rather than being disclosed.

If you had been at the session - you would've known that Anne-Marie's comments were said tonally with much sarcasm. You also would've known that I am a huge proponent of the FTC adopting guidelines - but that I think they need to focus on more than just "Mom Bloggers" but the field of bloggers in general. I also gave considerably more information on what the FTC is and does and why we need it.

There's a reason that we have live conference sessions rather than just passing out pamphlets or blogging, and that's for the interaction - to judge a session based on one written account of it is probably not the best manner of deciding whether or not it was the source of the "misinformation" you believe is being given out.

There is an old adage in the legal field that however many witnesses you have to an event, that's how many variations you will have on what actually happened, and somewhere in there lies the actual event. Additionally, there's a reason that court reporters use transcription machines and have considerable training in accurate recording... Live blogging gives you a sense of what it was like to be there, including mishearing things you might as an audience member or even speaker - but to use it to decide whether a session was giving out valid information or not is probably not your best course of action.



Lucretia (aka GeekMommy) Raising a child in a digital world, still a dig

ital girl


Submitted by GeekMommy on Wed, 08/12/2009 - 12:05
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Thanks Lucretia

Am very happy to hear the clarification. You're right, I can only go on the live blog and the perspectives from others in the room who are commenting here and elsewhere. It's almost like it was two different sessions! Would love to hear the audio/video if there was any done.

Mom-101


Cool Mom Picks.com


Submitted by Mom101 on Wed, 08/12/2009 - 12:17
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Journalist Ethics

I want to echo Liz' comments about traditional media. If you visit any of the major news organizations' websites, you'll find an ethics policy. They often aren't even allowed to have a sponsored meal or beverage without a conflict. The difference is that members of traditional media are paid to write those reviews by their companies.

I don't believe in paid reviews. I think it's nearly impossible to get any sort of impartial opinion if you're paying someone. Who's going to say they hate a product if they're getting paid? I believe that there are two solutions. The first is that we find ways to monetize our blogs through more formal advertising opportunities and I think this is feasible as companies start looking to shift their advertising from traditional media to blogs. The second is to call a spade a spade. If you only want to say the good things, stop calling it a review and start calling it a recommendation.

I'm interested to see how this all pans out. I don't believe that most people visit blogs to get real reviews on topics. They visit for the giveaways. I suspect that companies are going to start getting wise to this over time and make a shift in how they handle blogging campaigns.

Christy


Submitted by MoreThanMommy on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 09:50
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Sponsored panel liveblog

I was the "Susan" who spoke, and the paraphrase of my comment shows one of the dangers of liveblogging events. My comment was far broader than is represented here, and I am certain included mention of the importance of disclosure and integrity on both sides, bloggers and marketers.

I'm also baffled at the continued confusion of what is going on regarding the FTC guidelines. These guidelines take absolutely no position on whether bloggers should be compensated, either directly or with free product.

However, if they are compensated, the FTC plans to apply its guidelines on commercial endorsements, which as Mom 101 points out, were created to protect consumers from deceptive advertising practices.

That's ALL bloggers, not just moms.

I don't mean to oversimplify, but a really good start for any blogger is to disclose your policies on your blog. Whatever they happen to be.


Submitted by Susan Getgood on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 09:59
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I was the only one who raised my hand

When asked if it was okay or not to accept money for a post, I was the only one in the room who raised my hand AGAINST. I was quoted in the live blog as saying "You'll find it ironic that I'm a marketer by day and a blogger by
night, but I do not feel that there is no place for paid reviews and
contests in blogging."

This is a tiny portion of what I had to say. I was astonished that anyone would think it is OK for bloggers to accept payment for posts or giveaways WITHOUT DISCLOSING that they've been compensated. A paid post or giveaway is ADVERTISING and should be treated as such.

One of the reasons brands have courted mommybloggers is our reputation for honesty and authenticity. If we can be bought, we lose our credibility. If we lose our credibility, I'm confident we'll lose our readers too.

I wrote about this controversy in more detail on my blog and I'm speaking with Chicago's CBS News anchor Dorothy Tucker about my position later today.

www.marketingmommy.net


Submitted by Marketingmommy on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 10:08
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I Was There, Too

@MarketingMommy I was in this session as well and honestly wasn't paying attention to hear the question and raise my hand. I staunchly believe in disclosure as I'm sure the vast majority of that room does as well. So, I don't want people to assume that everyone in that room believes they can get paid for posts without disclosing because that's just not true.

If I remember correctly, the question was also worded in an odd way which may have been confusing to a lot in the room. I know a lot of pro-disclosure people in that room, including myself.



Founder of the Mom Bloggers Club | Editor of The Mom Salon | Blogger at Mothering.com


Submitted by JenniferJames on Tue, 07/28/2009 - 18:03
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You weren't alone actually

From the front of the room? There were about a half-dozen or more who raised their hands against. :)

Lucretia (aka GeekMommy) Raising a child in a digital world, still a digital girl


Submitted by GeekMommy on Wed, 08/12/2009 - 12:09
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I knew the sarcasm wasn't going to translate

It's Anne-Marie Nichols (AMN) here. First, I didn't mean to say that the FTC was picking on mom bloggers. My point about mom bloggers being picked on was by the mainstream media, not the FTC.

I am upset that journalists continue to pick on bloggers who are moms and women as the example of bad bloggers who don't disclose freebies/payment without really checking out the details and saying that one mom blogger (or a handful of them) represents all mom or female bloggers. It's lazy and doesn't give an accurate picture.

I would like to challenge AdWeek, Newsweek, the New York Times, et al, to look at tech bloggers (both male and female), sports equipment bloggers, gaming bloggers, food bloggers, etc., etc. and see what they're doing as far as taking free or sample products, disclosure, etc.

But they don't, in my opinion, because it's easy to pick on moms with an attitude of, "Oh look at the cute little mommies and what they're doing in their spare time when they're not wiping baby bottoms." It's dismissive especially when many of these women had professional careers before they "off-tracked" and stayed home to raise kids.

I hear the same attitude expressed by traditional media every time they do a Mommy Wars (SAHM vs. outside the home working moms) story and it ticks me off because traditional media considers moms "cute" (which is basically saying stupid) and not to be taken seriously as thinking human beings with considerable economic, social, and political power.

As far as the session went, I believe everyone agreed that FULL DISCLOSURE and having a clear policy page on your blog is a must. I'd like to see it done on all blogs, no matter what their subject matter, as well as traditional media sites. Why traditional media? It's because my regional paper, The Denver Post, and many of the food and women's magazines I read seem to feature many of the same products I'm being pitched to by PR people, publishers, and companies. Coincidence? I think not.


Submitted by mamarant on Wed, 07/29/2009 - 16:46
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Readers are Smart but They Don't Make the
Same Assumptions

This comment bothered me:

Audience member - Janice 5minformom- I feel that it's obvious to my readers. It should be common sense. If I'm giving away a product then obviously I didn't go out and buy the product myself. I mean I love my readers but not that much.

It may be obvious to some of you who have review sites, do a lot of giveaways and/or are contacted by a lot of companies sponsoring these situations. But it isn't that way for all bloggers. Not every blogger who does a review or giveaway is given the item by a company for free. I know I’ve read those bloggers and sometimes I enter their contests.

I blog about green living, saving money, and decorating. I write reviews of items on my blog. Some are items I’ve won in a contest. Some are items I’ve purchased myself or received as a gift from a person I know (not a company.) And yes, sometimes I review items that a company hasn’t given me. I think it’s important that I tell my readers where I get the products I write about. I also think that it’s important to list the pros and cons of each item I review so my readers can judge for themselves if the item will work for them. Basically, I try to conduct and write the types of reviews I personally find helpful and read.

We can't always asume that our readers will know when you're given an item for free or are a paid company spokesperson because in essance that's what paid reviews are. If a blogger is being paid for their endorsement or even for running a giveaway I want to know, because if the company is paying the blogger then they may be telling the blogger what they should say about their product. I want to know that up front that I have to take what they say about something with a grain of salt.

Condo Blues Green living and money saving tips http://condo-blues.blogspot.com/


Submitted by Condo Blues on Tue, 08/11/2009 - 17:04
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Readers are not always "readers"

I tend to forget myself that not all readers to my blogs are dedicated readers. About half come from google search, and of course there are links from other blogs. If you do a giveaway it's often linked on dedicated giveaway sites. so you bring up a really good point that not all blog readers operate with the same level of understanding about the blog.

Mom-101

Cool Mom Picks.com


Submitted by Mom101 on Tue, 08/11/2009 - 17:20
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GeekMommy - Having an opinion is important.

Audience member- Tiger Woods plays gold as a labor of love. But the Nike shirt he wears was not a product they gave him to take home. They paid for it.

Audience member - What about these women out there who couldn't afford to come to BlogHer? They might need that money to put food on the table. They might be happy to have the applesauce and diapers.

AMN- True. $100 can make a big difference in a week for some people.

GeekMommy- And unemployment is 10% at this time. Some people would be more than happy to receive what they can get.

Audience member- Back to the FTC thing. They don't have the capacity to police it all.

(general uproar)

Audience member- I mean that I'm concerned people will start attacking each other. It's a bit scary that people will start looking around and saying "You're not doing this right."

It’s A Beautiful Morning…..

After an evening of partying I expected to feel worse. When I didn’t feel as bad as I thought I would I was surprised at how badly I did feel. Does that make sense? My throat was sore and my stomach was feeling a bit queasy. My head was hurting but not that big drum boom and throb of a typical hangover. I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV but I took the fact that my throat hurt as a sign that I was not experiencing a hangover. Instead I diagnosed my problem as being the onset of some low grade cold because no fever was accompanying it.

I took an aspirin and reached for what I thought was a glass of water. I had forgotten that this was a mostly full glass of vodka and tonic. (Note to self it might be wise to sniff what you are about to drink before consuming it especially after a night of drinking.) I tossed the Excedrin Extra Strength and my allergy pill into my mouth and took a big swig of the clear liquid. I almost let the liquid spray from my mouth but in that same moment of realization of what I had done.

With no chance for a do-over I sank back into my bed and tried to see if I could sleep off whatever malady I was suffering from within the span of an hours nap. My eyes fluttered in a mocking attempt at sleep and then I had to race to the toilet. While I was experiencing one of those stomach emptying, hangover, emesis episode I was certain that I had expelled both the aspirin and the allergy medicine.

I lay back in bed and stared at the screen of the TV. I had defiantly left it on all night. A luxury I haven’t been able to do since I got married. My husband had to have a pitch black room with no noise in order to go to sleep whereas the background white noise of a TV helped me drift right off to sleep and helped to wake me up the next morning.

The morning news made no reference of bloggers or the blogging revolution but instead talked about Town Hall Meetings, sports scores, and the weather. My headache starts to abate but my throat feels a bit more sore. I’m thinking about a green tea latte from Starbucks and wondering if that will help.

Breakfast begins at 8:30 so I decide to trot over to the nearest Starbucks two blocks away still wearing my Tinkerbell nightgown with flip flops and for added affect I don my black sweater. Perhaps in the big city I should garner a lot of stares. People should probably point at me and think me a bag lady. It is only about 6:30 in the morning and hardly anyone is out in the street yet. I’m able to make it to Starbucks without being noticed. I walk up to the counter and hand the gentleman who is waiting on me my gift card as I order my drink. He should be rolling his eyes. He should be motioning his head in my direction so that others will see the “crazy old lady” who is waiting for her drink. Instead he acts as though this sort of thing happens every day. Perhaps it does.

By the time I get back to the hotel I have decided that I will shower but not bother doing anything to my hair. After all in a few more hours I will have a Beverly Hills Hair dresser styling it. I finish my tea and turn on the shower. The water and the tea have cleared by the last vestiges of my headache. My stomach was no longer queasy either. So I got out of bed, showered, changed, and headed down to breakfast. No need to put on any makeup because I already had an appointment to have that professionally done today too.

I don’t know why I didn’t notice that they had oatmeal for breakfast yesterday. Perhaps it was because I ate that HUGE piece of cheesecake. I LOVE oatmeal so I helped myself to a big bowl with brown sugar and bananas.

Once again I missed a Keynote address but this time it was because I had to hurry to my hair appointment. Dah-ling I feel so glamorous. I went downstairs to the Suave vendor’s table.

Let me start by saying I LOVE Suave. I have always loved Suave products. You really don’t have to spend a fortune to get great results. I am the type of person who goes to the hair salon and listens as the stylist tries to sell me $30 shampoo and I almost gasp. What do you mean $30 for shampoo? So to be truthful they didn’t have to offer me a free makeover to get me to buy Suave products. That great party that I crashed the night before didn’t matter much either because I use Suave products an awful lot.

There was a bit of confusion because two women were already occupying the chairs. I was supposed to be next and I told the one young lady who I was and she said it would be a few minutes. I watched as the talented hair dressers fluffed and primped and to say I couldn’t wait until it was my turn would be a bit of an understatement.

I’m the girl who often has to go to the beauty school or if I’m really trying to stretch my dollars then I’m forgoing getting my hair cut for months after it should have been touched up. It’s no secret that I’ve been known to take a snip at my bangs to keep them out of my eyes.

True just a couple of days ago I’d had my hair dyed and foiled professionally for free. That was the second time in my whole life I’d had my hair professionally dyed. The first time had been in a beauty school. This time, however, my hair was going to be styled by a beautiful Beverly Hills hair stylist.

A few moments after I showed up another woman showed up talking about how she’d missed her hair appointment the day before and they were going to try to squeeze her in if the woman who was scheduled didn’t show. I noticed that one of the women got out of the chair and was given some Suave hair care products. Inside my head I was saying “My turn. My turn! Pick me! Pick me!” The hairdresser spoke briefly to the woman handling the reservations and the woman who arrived after me. I heard them say well if this woman doesn’t show you can have her appointment. I don’t know what made me ask but I asked if it was Cathy and they said yes. Well that’s me!

What’s the polite thing to do? Should I let the woman who missed her appointment go ahead of me? Is it impolite for her to expect to go ahead of me? I didn’t have to make that decision because I was told to take a seat.

My hair stylist was a beautiful woman named Anna Vidito. She is the kind of woman you would have expected to see in a music video that sang about beautiful women. If I’d have been in my twenties I’d have felt self-conscious because I would have felt that I was the dumpy one in her presence. Her smile radiated California sunshine and she was just so well, NICE. You just couldn’t help but like her.

Just a couple of hours before I’d been lying in my bed hoping my condition didn’t worsen. Now I was there being treated like royalty. We talked about my students. We talked about having your own business. We talked about Suave products. She gave me advice about my hair and just wanted to take her home and adopt her.

After all this she presented me with a bag of Suave Products that she felt would be good for my hair. They included:

Suave Volumizing Spray Gel (my new favorite hair care product because it works so well on my baby fine hair)
Suave Volumizing Shampoo
Suave Volumizing Conditioner
Suave Color Care Shampoo
Suave Color Care Conditioner

They say that all good things must come to an end so did this. So Anna, thank you so much for making this old lady feel beautiful!!!!!.

Swag, Thievery, and Hooligans

Here's where I come back to the swag. I'm a sweeper. This means that sometimes I win things like a t-shirt with a movie's name on it. Some people say things like "You won a T-shirt? Big deal!" For me that t-shirt is cool.

I've never had a lot of money. Any little niceties I've ever had came because I was involved with sweeping. Some people laugh and roll their eyes but I am always thrilled when I receive my next CD or t-shirt. I am so grateful to all the companies I have ever won things from that I write them hand written thank you letters. I tend to be brand loyal to companies who sponsor sweeps.

The whole concept that I would receive "SWAG" here really didn't factor in my wanting to attend and I totally imagined that it would be in the form of T-shirts, mousepads, pencils, pens, etc. I was so amazed when I dumped my first one out that it was like Christmas.

You have to understand that right now my husband does not have a job so I kind of looked at this trip to BlogHer as my birthday gift even though it was something I won from Kraft. When I saw the stuff in my first swagbag I honestly felt like this truly was the best birthday I'd ever had. I had gone to wondering how my birthday was going to shake out to wow I can't believe this.

Some girls have beautiful Sweet Sixteen parties. For some girls their 13th birthday is filled with pink balloons and cake with pink flowers. We were too poor for all that. When I was 21 I was a single mom working two jobs and I was thrilled to get my birthday off but I couldn't afford to do anything special for that day. This was to be my 50th birthday. My next big birthday wasn't going to be until I was 75. Two years ago my husband and I talked about going on a cruise or going to Hawaii which had been my life's dream. All the world was our oyster.

When Darryl lost his job everything changed. I just felt it was my lot in life to NEVER have one of those "WOW CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?" Birthday party. Now here I was in Chicago, in a beautiful hotel, and the fact that someone handed me bag that included an Kodak HD Video cam and a $50 Pro Flowers gift card blew me away.

All the flashing of cameras and the massages, tattoos, and the parties were really all heady stuff. It didn't make me drunk with power but it did make me very appreciative. I took business cards and I would write hand written thank you cards to the people I met who supplied me with all this stuff. I had brought a box of thank you cards to thank all the people I met at Kraft but once I did that I began writing the other letters in earnest.

I never pushed anyone, never shoved anyone, never pouted whined, cried, or anything else because I "missed out" on a lot of the swag I heard about from others. Oh there's that I wish I'd known about that moment but other than that when I talk about swag it was all fun for me. I never knew that people would go CRAZY over this stuff but then again I suppose I should have known.

I remember hearing a story a couple of years ago about some giveaway that was supposed to happen in Central park. I want to say a certain number of people were going to get $50 or maybe $100 but it was only for the first X number of people. It was a radio stunt that went awry. People lined up 10 deep and when the giveaway began people were thrown to the ground and injured. When I heard about that it reminded me of what my Dad used to always say about large groups. "Stay Away."

It appears that some of the "ladies" elbowed bloggers or babies to get ahead in the line. There were reports of hand shaped bruises on Mommy Need's Coffee's arm. Reports of stolen swag were also circling. I'm serious. People were stealing from elevator carts and even stole from other people.

I was shocked. I first learned of this at BowlHer (that's another story) and it just sounded so incredible.

I also learned of an incident where there was a blackmail attempt for CROCS. Heck I got a pair of Crocs but they didn't have my size so I'll either give them away on my blog or I will give them to one of my students. Some of them do not have money for new clothes or shoes and I have certainly been there. I think they'd just love that.

The attitude of entitlement was pervasive among some rather than adopting an attitude of gratitude. I realize I have a case of low self-esteem but some people need to get over themselves.

I'll give you an example, I overheard one woman speaking with another about how she was "supposed to get a NEW dishwasher but it was taking so long so they contacted her and asked if she wanted to wait for a date in the future for that dishwasher or if she'd be willing to do a product review about detergent and receive a new front loading washer and dryer."

She didn't say it like "Oh I can't believe this. I'm just so very excited." She said it as though she felt she deserved the washer and dryer and they should give her those as well as the dishwasher because she actually had to wait to receive the dishwasher.

MY GOD!!!!! When when I was raising little ones I was working two jobs and still eligible for food stamps. I used to have to take the two of them to the laundry mat where we sat reading books in the hot building so that no one would steal our clothes. I'd have been thrilled if someone had offered to feed some coins into the dryer for me so that I could have bought the boys some fries at McDonalds or a soda.

I'm the only one in the house working right now and I'm taking care of my elderly father-in-law to boot. I am using some of my resources to buy school supplies for my students because many of them are in worse shape. Many of them are in homes with no adult working. Gosh I wish the back pack fairy would fall from the sky and give me some back packs for some of my students. As it is I bought two out of my own pocket and the one I received from Lands End also went to a student. I would have hugged any vendor who handed me a box of 50 pencils because that's about how many kids who will be stopping by my class when they take those high stakes tests telling me they forgot their pencil. I received lots of flash drives with product information that I uploaded to my computer then erased the information. Guess who is getting them? Not me. Some teachers are requiring kids to buy these and I only have one left. So excuse me for not feeling this woman's pain.

I almost jumped in to say something along the lines of "Are you kidding me?" Then I realized that I was the one eavesdropping so I really didn't have much room to talk.

The second day I was at BlogHer I saw woman open one of the many reusable grocery bags and began throwing bottle after bottle of Samples of the All Detergent. I was given two, sure I'd like more but you know what? If I took more then others wouldn't get any. They obviously only gave me two because they'd figured that was the fair number so that everyone would get some. They never said, hey help yourself there little lady. If they did I might have filled a bag and dropped them off at our local food pantry. After all the plant where my husband worked has closed down and he's far from being the only one effected by it. We are lucky because I am a teacher so we aren't dependent on the food pantry but some people are.

So do I feel a bit guilty about the swag? No. Why should I? I didn't obtain any of it in a dishonest way. I didn't demand anything. Do I feel like I was a swag hag? No because much of what I did get I shared with others and I actually wrote emails and thank you cards to many of the companies that provided these things to me. I have already begun writing reviews about some of the products like Swiffer, like Lands End, like Kraft, like McDonalds, like Ragu, and then I've emailed the rep to let them know how much I appreciated it as well as letting my readers know that I received these things FREE.

I think there are people who were conflicted with all the swag put those doubts aside and acted like a spoiled child. Some people felt that the swag demeaned there craft (more about that) yet they accepted the swag "against their better judgement." (more on that later).

I didn't feel guilty about the swag because the companies wanted to put these products in our hands in hopes that we would talk about them. It is a business transaction that they did to promote goodwill. I don't feel sullied by it. My blog is about saving money at the store so in and of its very nature it is commercial. I am not honing my craft while writing the next great American novel, pushing an agenda, or trumpeting my baby's latest accomplishment. I'm just telling people how to save money. I'm telling people about where to get free or reduced priced medication or health care. Companies are looking to spend their advertising money wisely and they know that blogging is the new revolution.

Then again if I had pushed babies, stolen swag, and acted like the world revolved around me I'd be so very embarrassed.

Oh I Wish I Were An Oscar Mayer Weiner

That is what I truly want to be. ‘Cause if I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner, everyone would be in love with me.

Until today I had only seen the Wienermobile only one time in my whole life. They had one out in front of the Commissary at Langley Air Force Base. On that particular day they were giving away Oscar Meyer Wieners. I think I was more excited than my son Michael.

When I learned that I could take a ride in the Wienermobile I jumped at the chance. Have you ever wanted to have a job where EVERYONE was happy to see you? Have you ever dreamed of being so famous that everyone wants your picture and EVERYONE loves you? Well here’s the job you want. Be the Wienermobile driver.

We tooled around in style on the Wienermobile and people would stop, point, smile, wave, and snap pictures or shoot video. I bet Paris Hilton doesn’t even get this much love.

Oh I didn’t want our ride to end. I wanted to drive around more. I wanted him to beep the horn again so I can hear the Oscar Mayer song again. But all good things must come to an end and that’s the same as the wienermobile.

I was given a cool T-shirt saying I tweeted on the Wienermobile and I received three whistles one for each of the little ones. I was so happy. I told our driver about the stuffed Oscar Meyer hot dog I won a few years back. When we moved it got shoved in one of the boxes but oh how I love that thing. Amazingly enough the dogs didn’t want anything to do with it so it became one of my favorite toys. Kind of like the chubby kid in that bank commercial. When I’d have some downtime I’d take it out of my drawer and “drive” it around the desk. It was always good for a laugh but I guess you would have had to have been there.

I also remember trying to win a trip in the Wienermobile a few years back. You had to submit a 100 word essay that described how you would use the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile for a day. Twenty people won this great prize but I wasn't one of them.

I wrote about giving out hot dogs in a local low income area that our school services. I believe that one woman who won said she gave out free books. I was so jealous that she got to ride around in the Wienermobile. Now I can say I have too. Who would have thunk it? I always say “Only in Sweeping” but now I say “only in blogging baby.”

Hey Oscar Mayer. If you ever want to drive that great Wienermobile by Rome High School I’d love to have you stop by and talk to my students about promotion and branding!!!!!

The Nikon I Never Knew You Party

Apparently I am not A Big Shot. Not that this is news to me but some of the things that happened at BlogHer I was not party to nor even aware of until the last night and some things not until I was safe at home in Georgia.

One of these events would be the Nikon Party. I can only speak from a “friend of a friend hear that….” Perspective so let’s gossip over the fence a spell.

It is my understanding that Nikon decided to throw an "invitation only" party at nightclub in Chicago for certain bloggers. Just like with the Suave party I’m sure they selected women whom they felt would write about their products and the party. Instead of a trolley, Nikon even provided limo service. Nikon even went out and rented out a trendy nightclub for this private event in an effort to host something upscale and cool. How’s that for VIP service?

Here’s where it gets ugly. Some Mommy Bloggers attempted to attend the event with their children and were turned away. This turned out to be a huge mess and the Mommy Bloggers got on Twitter and fired back with horrible comments about Nikon.

Keep in mind what I’m about to say is all armchair quarterbacking but as my students often say, “It’s a free country and I have a right to say whatever I want.” Then again people are free to lambaste me for doing just that.

I put myself through college working two jobs. One of those jobs was as a cocktail waitress. For four years I pranced around in a white blouse and either a little black skirt, little black shorts, or a pair of tight black jeans. I breathed in so much cigarette smoke it is a wonder that my lungs aren’t already in the final stages of cancer. When I would arrive home from work my hair and my clothes reeked so badly from the smell that one would have thought that I used in a pure tobacco shower. While I have no clue if Chicago has now adopted the no smoking restrictions for bars that alone would keep my kids out of any bar when they were babies.

I worked in the same bar for four years. In a way it was great training for being a teacher and for the subject I teach. Being a cocktail waitress forces you to speak to others and teaches you to deal with people that you might not always choose to deal with. There is very little difference between a defiant teen in the middle of a melt-down and a drunk patron demanding one more drink. You have to learn that you don’t need to respond to every remark and that with time one will hopefully grow up and the other will hopefully sober up.

I learned a lot about the laws regarding operating a bar in Virginia and in Maryland. For example, I’m certain the guy who owned our bar would have loved to sell you one for the road. We didn’t have an on/off license so alcohol could only be sold and consumed on premises. I learned about state liquor boards and inspections and so much more.

In Maryland, children were not allowed to be in the bar for ANY reason when the bar was open for business. So if I wanted to stop by to pick up my paycheck on Friday early in the day I could bring my kids in with me and they could even sit at the table and have a soda. Once we began setting up the bar for the day though, about 4 pm or so, NO children were allowed in for even a second. The reason for this had to with the fact that my boss could have lost his license and the bar closed down if a state trooper or someone from the State Liquor Board decided to drop by for an unannounced visit.

So some people were upset because they couldn’t bring their kids into a bar. Some people were upset because it was an invitation only event. When I first signed up for the Social Luxe Lounge I felt like I was part of the “IT” crowd. I remember feeling crestfallen when I learned that they were opening it up to everyone. Then we were promised that WE, the original attendees, were going to get something special but that almost didn’t happen for me. That’s why I wasn’t really upset that even though my name didn’t appear on a list I did RSVP. Things seemed to be fluid and the rules were always changing. So if some people thought that “EXCLUSIVE” meant “EVERYONE” could go if they were a blogger I could almost see their point.

As a teacher I understood that if you allowed one student to do something you’d better expect that all the other kids and their parents would be up in arms and demanding to know why THEY couldn’t do it too. BlogHer, parties and events seemed to meld into one big thing with no parameters so that people mistakenly thought that they very fact that they had paid to go to BlogHer ensured that they could go to any and all parties and activities even if they were actually private events and only associated with BlogHer in an ancillary way.

I heard that it was all down hill from there anyway. Some Moms twittered things suggesting that Nikon HATES babies. I don’t believe that Nikon hates babies. Perhaps they could have chosen a different location. Could they have opened it to all the registered BlogHer bloggers? Perhaps. Maybe they could have scaled it back so as to be able to open it to everyone in attendance. Personally I understand what they were trying to do and I think Nikon was on the right track. Everyone wants to feel special. I know I love to feel special. My students love to feel special.

If I give a student a Snickers Bar for doing a good job he will see himself as special and so will his peers. If everyone gets a Snickers Bar for no particular reason it's just not quite as special.

The end result is that not that NIKON will forever be branded as a baby-hating company? Maybe by the bloggers denied access but not by the general public. As I have to remind myself after a mistake or bad experience, “This too shall pass.”

From what I heard the women in attendance loved the party. Heck I wish Nikon would contact me because I want to send a little love their way. How about sponsoring me at the blogalicious? Hint hint. I live in Atlanta so I just need someone to pay for my ticket.

So what else did I hear about the party I didn’t go to? Well I heard that the two women felt that their tweets were taken out of context. Still I don’t find anything really funny about this. It borders on Junior High behavior. “So and so said such and such so you know what I’m going to say about such and such.” I understand disappointment. I’ve been on the receiving end before but why revert to such childishness? How can you not feel that saying that a company hates babies is a bit over the top? I’m still twitter illiterate but must you place a hashtag for drama emphasis?

I read her response and apparently she feels people are criticizing her parenting. As a Mom who has now graduated to the Grandma part of the spectrum let me say, “Welcome to parenthood.” Everyone is judging you. If your kid cries on a plane “People are rolling their eyes and even telling you to shut your kid up.” If your kid winds up on drugs, guess who’s fault they will say it is. Relatives will judge, dissect and discuss your parenting skills as well as friends, relatives, coworkers, and strangers. Pull up on your big girl pants and get over yourself.

When I was raising my kids I knew people who felt is was “creepy” that I nursed my infant. It doesn’t matter what other people think. If you spank your children people will brand you as a child abuser even if it was once and it was a single swat on a diapered behind. If you don't spank your kids then when they grow up to be a terrorist it is all your fault because you were too permissive with your child. It took me fifty years to finally “GET IT” but it really doesn’t matter. People are always judging you. Heck you judged Nikon without even taking a look at the facts.

Heck I feel like getting on twitter with the hashtag "NikonLOVESTeachers". Do you think they'd invite me to their next party? Do you think they would sponsor my next trip to blogher? Do you think that they would send me some of their awsome products to review? Then let the hashtags begin.

Excuse Me, What Party Is This?

I haded over to the MamaPopRocks Party at the Sheraton which was held at the Chicago Michigan A&B

This party was done on a smaller scale and when I first arrived I was probably one of about ten people. My experience with Pop Rocks is limited because they came on the market when I was a “Grown-up.” I still remember the rumors that Mikey of Life Cereal fame died when eating Pop-rocks. This was pre-Snopes days so the rumor had legs and added an air of danger to this popping candy. The other crazy rumor involved eating Pop Rocks and drinking carbonated soda would cause you to explode. Again an interesting rumor but it had no basis in fact. I truly wonder how many pre-teen boys consumed this candy with their favorite soda so they could brag to their friends how they were able to cheat death by doing so.

I hadn’t seen the candy in years to I grabbed several packs with the intent of sending them to my sons. I figured they would get a kick out of it.

Once upon a time friends might say I was a “light weight” now I just don’t care. I hate the praying to the porcelain god and who was I trying to impress with my drinking skills anyway. I decided to make my last drink of the night a vodka and tonic and I wound up carrying it around trying to seem more cosmopolitan than I really was.

You’ll have to excuse me because it was either the alcohol or the time schedule or a combination of both causes me to confuse the Mamapoprocks party and the Mommy needs a cocktail party. I walked back and forth between the two of them. I do know that there were chocolate fountains and martinis at the Momy Needs A Cocktail Party. I do not remember any swag but I do remember them saying that there would be some first come first served. I believe though that this particular party had a long line and they were checking names at the door. It appears mine was not on the list but that was just fine too because about forty-five minutes later I was in the door.

Then again it could have been the other way around. I could have sworn I had RSVPed but then it seemed I RSVPed almost every party. Still one or two of the parties did not show me on the list and with so many other opportunities to dance the night away I let it slide. Let’s face it in the real world “I’m not an A lister anyway.”

I did have such a great time. I kept going back and forth between the two rooms and as they say "All's Well That Ends Well."

I also did not attend the type-a momfluence party but perhaps I should have. I hear that 100 people received an HP Swag Bag. Had I known I probably would have camped out at the door to be the first one in. I understand the line was very large.

At this point one might think I’m there just for there at Blogher for the swag. Actually I had no clue at all about the scope of what we might receive. I think I was thinking key chains, tee shirts, and mousepads. I did not imagine in a million years that someone would just hand me a Microsoft Office Small Business Version or a Kodak HD Video Camera. I am the type of person who is thrilled when I wind up with a bag of twenty pencils after going to a trade show because my students can use them. I’m overjoyed when I walk away with a couple of branded pens because I can use them in my classroom.

I am not a person who walks around expecting people to throw coinage or rose petals at my feet. If I receive a sample in the mail I am overjoyed the rest of the day. I just love the cute little bottles or boxes in which samples are packaged. I’m the kind of person who can’t thank the DJ enough if they give me a T-shirt with the Radio insignia on it. The swag was not the icing on the cake it was the cherry and whipped cream on the cake. It was that added bit of flourish that said, “You are important to us and we realize it.” For someone who spent a great deal of her life wanting to be important to someone this was all very heady stuff. I will come back to this thought more than once as I talk about what happened here at BlogHer

Am I That Dependent?

Could it be that being with one person for over a decade makes one dependent? Dependent on their approval, dependent on their judgment, dependent on their mere presence? Does missing my husband and wishing he was with me violate all the feminist propaganda that I was taught when I was young? Is strength trumped by the desire to have someone with you? Can I point to those seventeen years that I raised two sons on my own as proof I “don’t need anyone” because I can “do it all myself?” Does the yearning to spend time with my husband mean that that was all a sham and prove I’m really desperate and clingy?

I don’t want to say that I was having home sickness or that I was incapable of being alone but it had been so long ago and far away that I had been able to call all the shots without finding out how everyone else feels about things. That feeling I used to have when I was single and wished that I had someone to share an experience with was being revisited.

After leaving the EA Summer in the City Party I was walking the famous Michigan Avenue Bridge and yapping on my cell phone to my husband telling him how much I missed him and loved him and wished he were there. On one hand the freedom was a bit intoxicating but on the other hand I wanted to feel his hand in mind as I walked back to the hotel. Just a little over a year ago the two of us had stayed at the House of Blues. We’d had such a great time exploring Chicago. I had just finished reading Upton Sinclair’s book the Jungle before we’d gone and before that I’d read the Devil in the White City. Neither one of us imagined we’d ever come back to Chicago but there we were and now I might still be a stranger it’s no longer a strange land.

My next stop was supposed to be at the Queerosphere at the Crimson Lounge. They were going to be giving away a sweet cruise. That wasn’t the only reason I was going to go though. I wanted to say that I did something different. Remember going to this conference was about stepping out of my comfort zone. I was going to go places I've never been before. I can honestly say I'd never been to a gay bar. I was going to meet people from many different backgrounds and try to make new friends.

I whispered in the phone that I had to just drop my EA bag off and head on over to Hotel Sax. I never made it. I was too frightened to walk that far in the dark and the drizzle in a city I was not familiar with. Just two days earlier I had heard a news story about someone who was stabbed just a block or two from a downtown area with lots of trendy restaurants. If only I had someone to walk with I wouldn’t have been so nervous. I turned around after a couple of blocks and headed back to the Sheraton.

It's too bad I didn't get to go. If only it had been held at the hotel I definitely would have stopped by.

EA Summer in the City Party

I got back in the elevator and wondered if I should have stuck around. What if this had been the best party? Yet I knew Darryl was looking forward to me going to the EA Summer in the City Party.

The EA Summer in the City Party was the party that Darryl was most excited about. For me it was the Social Luxe Lounge Party. Darryl was hoping that they would give me some video games to try out and review. I had made sure he’d written what platform we use at home because I do NOT play video games.

This party was being held at the House of Blue and was sponsored by Electronic Arts. The last time Darryl and I had been to Chicago we had actually stayed at the House of Blues Hotel. When we were there we had talked about eating there but wound up never doing so.

I arrived at the venue about ten minutes early but already trying to devise a spiel to work on any representatives. I had decided to point out that video games are a thrifty purchase for a family because if you factor the cost over the number of hours your family spends playing the game it really is cost effective. You’re always marketing yourself in every situation I tell my students.

When we were allowed in I looked at all of the artwork they had displayed. I walked up to the bar and ordered a Bloody Mary. As I walked back to the dance floor I decided to check out the video games.

The first video game had me holding two controllers trying to hit a dummy. No not my ex-husband. It was one of those big punching bag things. It took me a couple of seconds to catch on to how to use the controllers but once I got it down it seemed easy enough.

One of the Wii Moms was explaining how she lost some weight playing these games. I could see that happening if someone was doing it every day. I wouldn’t mind owning one and doing aerobics with it. I could see how it would be a motivator. I could see how you could keep someone very engaged in the workout playing the game.

One of the waitstaff came over with a tray of coconut shrimp. Now I’ve tried frozen coconut shrimp before but never ordered it in a restaurant. More than likely because I was disappointed with the frozen coconut shrimp. I decided to try a couple of the nice plump shrimps and they were so very good. I could have sat down and eaten a plate full if I wasn’t trying to watch my weight.

I asked one of the other women who was there but not wearing an attendee badge if she was with the company. She was not but she wanted to show me another game. This one was called Spore Hero if I remember correctly. You can create your own creature hero with over 250 collectable parts and special abilities and fight to save your planet. You crash land on a strange alien world. But something evil has followed you and is threatening to destroy the creatures of the planet.

I could tell pretty quickly that it was not one that my family would have enjoyed. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. This is not because there was something wrong with the game. It really was pretty cool. It just didn’t strike me as something they would like.

My husband's favorite game is Grand Theft Auto. My son's love that game too. Other than the music on the game I can't stand it and I don't understand their obsession with it. They also enjoy war game video games. The EA game party was about family games and the games my husband and sons are playing certainly do not fall in that category.

Another person came by and asked if I wanted to try some buffalo wings. I took a couple while I checked out the next game which was Need for Speed NITRO! This was another game that looked like it would be great for some people but my family doesn’t care for race games either. The graphics were AWSOME though.

I stood there for a few moments and talked with a woman who said she was there with sponsor but I didn’t know in what capacity. I gave my whole spiel and she agreed. If you factored the price over the amount of hours you spend enjoying the game the cost of the game was affordable. I gave her my card and then prepared to leave.

This was one of those events that Darryl would have enjoyed more. He could maybe talk about video games or consoles or those kinds of things but I don’t like video games. I think the peak for me was Pac-Man and that was it.

There was yet another party for me to go to and I was already buzzing. I normally don’t drink this much and the drinks all seem to be hitting me pretty hard. As I left the party they handed me a duffle bag and I was glad they did that. I needed one to help me get all my stuff home. It was beginning to be almost comical at this point.

If you looked up the words "frumpy teacher" my picture would be right there. While I was never the life of the party, even when I was young, I used to put on my boogie shoes and dance the night away back in the day. Now I've left Sugar Mountain and I'm asleep by ten at night so I can wake up by six to get ready to go to work. The whole idea that I had this busy social schedule of one party after the other seemed so out of place in my "real life".

I checked the bag for videos or discounts and found none. My husband will be so very disappointed but I had a great time. I left early before many people had shown up but I hope more people got a chance to see the great games. From there it's on to the next party.